Suicide

Banta: Yeh chaaku kyun ubaal rahe ho?

Santa: Suicide karne ke liye



Banta: Toh phir ubalne kyu, kya zaroorat hai?

Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye!

Santa proposing a girl: Darling kya tum mujse shadi karogi?



Girl: Tameez se baat karo.

Santa: Behan ji, kya aap mujhse shaadi karogi?

less T.V.

While visiting Santa’s house, Banta noticed that he had replaced his usual TV with a smaller model.

smalltv.jpg

Thinking that perhaps the larger set has broken down, Banta asked why the small one was there.

“Oh,” Santa replied, “I have decided to watch less T.V.”

mosquito coil

Ek sardar doosre se keh raha hai ke “Maine machcharo ko ullu banaya !”

Second Sardar: “Kaise?“

mosquito-coil.jpg

First says: Maine mosquito coil mere bajuke room mein lagaya aur main apne room mein soya. ha ha ha ha…..

marriage

Santa: Why didn’t you marry?

Banta: I was searching for an ideal match.

Santa: So, you didn’t find an ideal girl?

friend1.jpg

Banta: I found one.

Santa: Then?

Banta: She was also searching for an ideal match

What’s Your Cast

Teacher 2 student : What’s Your Cast ?
Student : Pehle to hum Pandit The,
Fir Rajput Hue,
Fir Baniya ho Gaye,
Abhi Hai Darji,
Or
Aage AMMI ki Marzi

3 Chimps escaped from the zoo...

News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo...
1 was caught watching tv...
another playing football and
the third one was caught reading this txt message

Teacher to Sardar

Teacher to Sardar: Write your best friend's name in English.
Sardar wrote: ' Beautiful Red Underware'
Teacher: What?
Sardar: His name is Sundar Lal Chaddi

Sardar Get Engaged with girl

Sardar Get Engaged with girl,
soon he came 2 know she had no affair b4,
he brokn the relation every 1 asked the reason!He said
"JO KISI OR KI NA HO SAKI WOH MERI KIA HOGI

i want u 2 know dat our friendship

i want u 2 know dat our friendship
i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again

I'm a killer

I'm a killer, i kill people for money
I'm a killer, i kill people for money, but you are my friend
I KILL YOU FOR FREE !!

First the engagement ring

First the engagement ring, then t
First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering

Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year

Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year,
Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year, Happy Easter, Good luck on Valentines, Spooky Halloween & Happy Birthday Now bug off and don't annoy me for the next 12 months!!!!

If ur world is spining Round & Round

If ur world is spining Round & Round."
" If ur world is spining Round & Round..& Round....Ur heart is beating fast ,do u think its LOVE? na Munna na its called high B/P...

fullform of COLLEGE

Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE- "
"Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE- C-Come,O-On,L-Lets, L-Love, E-Each,G-Girl,E-Equally......Thats why boys go to college regularly...

RING

One day Santa"s Girlfriend asks him,"
One day Santa"s Girlfriend asks him, Darling, om our Engagement will you give me a RING?Santa:Ya sure, Give me ur Telephone No."

When i open my eyes every morning

When i open my eyes every morning
When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer!!!

…PROBLEM & CHALLENGE…

**…PROBLEM & CHALLENGE…**

TEACHER:
what is the different between
problem and challenge????

STUDENT:3boys+1girl=problem
1boy+3girls=challenge..

Girl fully exhausted

Girl fully exhausted

A young girl after her honeymoon
came fully exhausted and tired,

When her friends asked her what happened?

She replied :
When this 70 year old bastard told me
he has saved a lot from last 50 years,

“I thought It was MONEY

World shortest jokes

World shortest jokes

Worlds shortest jokes:

1) 2 Women r sitting quiet.

2) 2 Sardars r playing chess.

3) GirlFriend pays the bill…!!!

Need more???

U r beautiful.:-

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

Husband, wife & spare tyre

Husband, wife & spare tyre

HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle

If 1 punctures, the vehicle can’t move further

M0ral:
always Keep a SPARE TYRE…

jeevan me ………

jeevan me ………

jeevan me paise, pyaar, dost,
sab kuch aata hai jaata hai,
par tode gaye daant phir nhi aate,
samajhdar ho ummeed hai msg bhejte rahoge

Independance day date

Independance day date

Bubbli got caugt on date
on Independance day
.
Major Rohail-
What is this?
.
Bubbli-
Dad today is freedom day,
so let me do what I want

Desperate to get married

Desperate to get married

Marriage is like a public toilet

Those waiting outside are desperate to get in
&
Those inside are desperate to come out..

my feelings 4 u have never changed.

Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death,
my feelings 4 u have never changed.
For me, you've always been a headache!

If I was an artist

If I was an artist,
you would be my picture!
If I was a poet,
you would be my inspiration!
If I was an author you would be my story!
But I'm only a cartoonist!

How did Santa Kill a Lion?

How did Santa Kill a Lion?
Santa thinks N thinks hard & comes to a conclusion:
I'll drink poison n let the lion eat me.
Whoopie!!

Repeater Rekh do

Repeater Rekh do
Woman: Sir , mein apne ladke ka naam kya rakhoon?
Ajit: Iskaa naam Peter rakh do!
Woman: Mera doosra ladkaa bhi hai , jo iskaa twin hai. Mein uskaa naam kya rakhoon?
Ajit: Uskaa naam Repeter rakh do!

ATM Jammed because of

ATM Jammed because of …

Breaking News
ATM @ Gulshan-e-Iqbal Is Jammed &
Not In Working Condition
.
.
.
Because
.
.
.
Sardar’s Wife Put Hair pin In Machine
When It Said”, Enter Ur PIN”

Rs 1000

Rs 1000
..

Mallika arrived at a Railway Station for a shooting.

Bhikhari: Behanji 1 rupiya dedo.

Malika gave him 1000 Rs.

beggar.jpg

Secretary: Why u gave him 1000 Rs..?

Malika: Pehli bar kisine behan kaha!

Sardar’s order

Sardar’s order


Sardar at bar in New York.

Man on his right says “Johny Walker single”.

14881541thm.gif

Man on his left says “Peter Scotch single”.

Sardar says - “Baljith Singh Married

wanted to marry

A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand.

“That’s a serious step,” he said. “Have you thought it out completely?”

“Yes,” his young son answered. “We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It’s right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark.”
“How about transportation?” the father asked.



“I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles,” the little boy answered. The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.

Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, “What about babies? When you’re married, you’re liable to have babies, you know.”

“We’ve thought about that, too,” the little boy replied.

“We’re not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I’m going to step on it!”

Desperate to get married

Desperate to get married

Marriage is like a public toilet

Those waiting outside are desperate to get in
&
Those inside are desperate to come out.

Itne kum marks

Bhola: Itne kum marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.



Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine oos master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

aise hi aaja

Boy : Jaan-e-man… ees dil me aaja na!

Girl : Sandal nikalu kya?

21702145thm.jpg

Boy : Pagli, yeh mandir nahi… aise hi aaja!!

India ka flag

Santa to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India ka flag dikhao.



Shopkeeper ne flag dikhaya,
Santa: - Isme aur colour dikhao.

DURGA

Santa: Tu office mein toh bada sher bana ghumta hai, ghar par kya ho jata hai?

Banta: Hota toh sher hi hoon par DURGA sawar ho jaati hai…

for 20 seconds

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.

ice cream

I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!

telephonic call

20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one idiot is now holding his mobile in his hand

shaadi nahi karsakta

Sardar to Girlfriend= Darling main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karrahe hai. Girlfriend= Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai. Sardar= 1 biwi aur 3 bacche

CHAALU KHAATA

Santa: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!
Banta: Mujhe uska naam pata hai.
Santa: Kya naam hai uska?
Banta: Woh bank mein kaam karti hai,
Uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha “CHAALU KHAATA

Prashn-Patra

Teacher- “Bachcho, Jo Kuchh Puchhna Ho Puchh Lo. Ab Pariksha Najadik Aa Gayi Hai.”
Ravi- “Bas Aap Itnaa Bata Dijie Ki Prashn-Patra Kis Pres Me Chhap Rahe Hai?”

chakkar kaat kaatte

Arz hai unki galiyon ke chakkar kaat kaatte
kutte hamare yaar ho gaye,
wo to hamare na ho sake par hum
kutton ke sardar ho gaye…

Aik Munder main

Aik Munder main buri neeyat wale gaeb ho jate they.Amitab gya wog gayab, Hirithik gya woh gayab,Akshey gya woh gayab, Ashwarya gai Bhagwan gayab

Mere Marne ke baad

Mere Marne ke baad aey dost aansoo mat bahana…
agar yaad aaye meri to seedhe upar chale aana…
Agar waha me na dikhu to samajh lena tu narak me hai…

Dosti karo college wali se

Dosti karo college wali se,
pyar karo office wali se,
batein karo pados wali se,
ankh ladao sali se,
love karo dilvali se,
AUR MAR KHAO GHARVALI SE

Agar bina danto ka kutta kate to kya karna chahiye

Munna bhai: Agar bina danto ka kutta kate to kya karna chahiye...???
Circuit: simple bhai... Bina sui ka injection lene ka..!!!

jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye

Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye

Yeh dosti meri nahi

Yeh dosti meri nahi hamaari hai,
Isliye toh saab rishton si pyaari hai.
Zaroori nahi doston ka roz milna,
Tabhi toh sms,phone calls,mails ka silsila jaari hai!

hindi chutkale

Pyaar mein Juban chup ho to ankhen bolti hai,
Ankhen chup ho to dil bolta hai,
Aur agar dil bhi chup ho to?
Toh Log bolte hai
“Ram Naam Satya Hai”

hindi chutkale

Ek American nai ek Swami se bola,
Hamare yaha shaadi e-mail se bhi hoti hai.
Is par Swami bola kamal hai,
Hamare yaha to sirf female se hoti hai

One Friend to another

One Friend to another:

what did u do on mothers day?

2nd Frnd: Helped many girls

to become mothers..

On behalf of my dear friend

On behalf of my dear friend…



Subedar Santa and Subedar Banta were in the same regiment in the British Indian Army, they were inseparable friends and spent their evenings drinking together.

The partition separated them as Subedar Santa passed away in a war. To keep his friend
’s memory alive, Subedar Banta always filled two glasses with rum and water and sipped from each alternately!


When somebody asked him why he did so, he explained: “This glass is Santa’s & this one is mine. So I take a sip from each, One on behalf of santa, the other for myself.”

Suddenly one evening Banta was seen with only one glass on his table. He was asked what happened.

He replied, “You see, I have given up drinking but Santa’s not. So I’ve put away my glass and am drink only on behalf of my friend.”

galat sangati ka asar

Wife: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye thay.

drunk.jpg

Husband: Kya bataoon, sab galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost… 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin

Dying husband to wife

.


Confession


Dying husband to wife: I have some thing to tell u dear!

Wife: “Don’t speak, just have some rest.”

poison.jpg

Husband: No, I must confess. I had relationship with your sister and your best friend.

Wife: Shh!!… I know, I know! That’s why I poisoned u

Taj Mahal aapke liye

Taj Mahal aapke liye hazaron banana chahenge
Lekin hum jaisee chahat kahan se layenge
Loog to teri yaad main jeena chahenge
Ek hum hi hongey
Jo tuj bin jee nahi payenge.

Galti ho gayi

Galti ho gayi



Maalik: Tum bathroom mein kyu ghus aaye, Kya tumhe pata nahi tha ki mein naha raha hoon?



Naukar: Hazur galti ho gayi, mein samjha tha begum sahiba hai.

Fast horse

Fast horse



One police asked to the thief, “How you theft the horse within a minute in front of so many people?”



Thief replied, “I did not take the horse, it was the horse who has taken me so fast within a second.”

Yoga cures drinking

Yoga cures drinking



Yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband’s drinking habit?



Woman: Yes, An Amazing Effect !! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head.

Cold coffee

Cold coffee



A boy takes his girlfriend on a date. They went to a coffee shop and they ordered coffee.

The boy told to his girlfriend, “Drink quickly before it gets cold.”



Girlfriend asked with surprise, “Why?”

The boy replied, “Don’t u see, Hot cofee is for $ 5 and cold cofee for $10 !

First Aid

First Aid



“How come you’re late?” asks the Manager as Santa walks in the door.

“It was awful,” Santa explains. “I was walking down Mall road and there was this terrible accident. A man was lying in the middle of the road. He’d been thrown from his car. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere.


Thank God I took that first-aid course and all my training came back to me in a minute.”

“What did you do?” asks the Manager.

Santa says, “I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep myself from fainting!”

types of tense

Teacher : Santa yeh batao tense kitne tarah ke hote hai?

Santa : Teen maidam.

clsssrooms.jpg

Teacher : Teeno ke ek-ek example batao.

Santa : Madam, Maine kal aapki beti ko dekha tha. Aaj mein ussey pyar karta hoon aur kal mein
ussey bhaga kar le jaunga.

How can u escape

How can u escape



Interviewer : Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught fire?

Sardar: Simple, Stop imagining

Cut the tail

Cut the tail


Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet.

“Doctor,” he said sadly, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to cut off my dog’s tail.”

The vet stepped back, “Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?”

“Because my mother-in-law’s arriving tomorrow, and I don’t want anything to make her think she’s welcome.

Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?

Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed

Dil se bolu ek baat me sachchi

Dil se bolu ek baat me sachchi, Hum tum ek daal ke panchhi, Dosti hamari ye hogi na kachchi, Teri photo se to meri negative achchhi

Angoothi Chanak Gaye, Nageena Nikal Gaya

Angoothi Chanak Gaye, Nageena Nikal Gaya
Afsos Tera Baap, Kameena Nikal Gaya
teray pyaar nay muay kutta bana diya
yakeen nahi aata to sun .. bhow bhow bhow

Gungat Mein Tujhe Dekha To Dewanna Hua

Gungat Mein Tujhe Dekha To Dewanna Hua,
Sangeet Ka Taraana Hua,
Shamaa Ka Parwana Hua,
Masti Kamastaana Hua,
Jaise Hi Gunghat Uthaya Is Duniya Se Ravana Hua

Ammi bhoot

Neend jab bhi hamain agosh main leti hay
Thumara chehra ankhon main bas jata hay
Eik dum ankh khul jati hay aur monh se Ammi bhoot nikal jata hay

Aaina dekh kar begana ho gaya

Aaina dekh kar begana ho gaya,
Wo apney he husn ka dewana ho gya
Muqabala husn main hisa lia ap ne bhi
Auron ko to cup mila mager ap ko jurmana ho gya

Torch Theek hai

Torch Theek hai
After finishing MBBS, Dr. Munna start his practice. He checked 1st patient eyes, tongue & ears by torch & finallly said Bole To.. Torch Theek hai

God ne tujhe bheja to bheja

God ne tujhe bheja to bheja
God ne tujhe bheja to bheja, lekin behja to aisa bheja ki behje main bheja hi nahi bheja, Ye mujhe kise ne bheja, isliye maine tujhe bheja

Jab barish hoti hai

Jab barish hoti hai, Tum yaad aate ho. Jab kali ghata chaye, Tum yaad ate ho,Jab bheegte hain tum yaad aate ho, Bataoo Meri umbrella Kab wapis kro ge!

Khidki se deakho to raste pe koi nahi tha

Khidki se deakho to raste pe koi nahi tha
Khidki se deakho to raste pe koi nahi tha, Khidki se dekha to raste pe koi nahi tha, Raste pe ja ke dekha to khidki pe koinahi tha.

Doctor says to pathan

Doctor says to pathan: Appka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai? Pathan: Hoga zaror hoga; 25 saal se amara koon peeta aay..!

HAMARI DOSTI

HAMARI DOSTI RAYMOND JAISI NAHIN... SINCE 1925 ,
PEPSI JAISI BHI NAHIN , KE YE DIL MAANGE MORE...
YE HOGI L.I.C. JAISI ,
JINDAGI KE SAATH BHI , JINDAGI KE BAAD BHI...

Meri bhagwaan se ek he prarthana hai.

Meri bhagwaan se ek he prarthana hai..
!ki wo aap jaisa dost har kisi ko de..
!aakhir ye saza main akele kyu bhugtu

jab dekha unhone tirchi nighaho se

jab dekha unhone tirchi nighaho se
jab dekha unhone tirchi nighaho se tab ham madhosh ho gayee,,,,, par jab pata chala ki nazre hi tedi hai to ham behosh ho gaye.

Is kadar hum aapko chahte hain,K

Is kadar hum aapko chahte hain,K
Is kadar hum aapko chahte hain,Ki duniya wale jal jaate hain...Yu to hum sabko ullu banate hain,Par aap jara jaldi ban jaate hain..

Jitne channel TV ke, utne nakhre...

Jitne channel TV ke, utne nakhre
Jitne channel TV ke, utne nakhre BV ke, TV chale remote se, BV chale note se, cheda agar TV ko tv hua kharab, jo cheda BV ko, Beghar hue JANAAB.

lagta hai k insaan kabhi bandar thaa

Jab aap hanstay hain to lagta hai k insaan kabhi bandar thaa
Jab aap hanstay hain to lagta hai k insaan kabhi bandar thaa! Aray aap to naaraaz hee ho gaey... jab aap naraz hotay hain to lagta hai k insaan aaj bhee bandar hai.! ha ha ha!

Repeater Rekh do

Repeater Rekh do
Woman: Sir , mein apne ladke ka naam kya rakhoon?
Ajit: Iskaa naam Peter rakh do!
Woman: Mera doosra ladkaa bhi hai , jo iskaa twin hai. Mein uskaa naam kya rakhoon?
Ajit: Uskaa naam Repeter rakh do!

Roz subah 50 Ladkiya mera intezaar karti hai.

Santa : - Roz subah 50 Ladkiya mera intezaar karti hai.
Banta : - are waah, woh kaise ?
Santa : - Mai Girls College Bus ka Driver hoon….

Ants will finish you

Ants will finish you

a girl’s speaking 2 a boy……..
u r very handsome.
u r very cute.
u r very sweet.
ooph…….sorry.
i can’t call u sweet….
because ants will finish u.

At ur age hitler commited suicide

At ur age hitler commited suicide

Teacher : U failure
At ur age Bill gates stood first in the class
Student : Mind u, Sir,
but at ur age hitler commited suicide

Aik Pagal dusry se

Aik Pagal dusry se

Aik Pagal: “Mujhe Katrina ne shadi k lye haan bol di hai”

Doosra: “Dikha di na usne apni auqat.
Main bhi itni asani se tallaaq nahi dunga

What's the difference between wife n neighbours wife?

What's the difference between wife n neighbours wife?
Wife is a chocolate, can have any time.
Neighbour's wife is like an ice-cream,
shud hv immediately

iss bar meri dadi ki shaadi hai

Maalik: Ramu, iss saal tum 4 bar apne dada
ke marne ki chutti le chuke ho.
Ramu: Maalik, iss bar meri dadi ki shaadi hai

aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?

Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye

A baby fish asked her mother

A baby fish asked her mother: Y can't we live on earth?
Mother Fish: Earth is not the place for FISH,
it's made for selfish

NDIA Ko Aazaad Hue 57 Sal Hue

NDIA Ko Aazaad Hue 57 Sal Hue
Phir Bhi No PROGRESS!
why? Kyunki Aaj Bhi INDIA Ki
Bholi Janta KAAM-DHANDHA Chhod Kar
hamara SMS padh rahi hai...

Ladki ek aisi paheli hai

Ladki ek aisi paheli hai, kabhi teri to kabhi meri saheli hai.
Kharcha karo to bole "darling, how are you?".
Na karo to bole "brother, who are you?".

bahar aa kar acha lag raha hai?

Media: Prince, bahar aa kar acha lag raha hai?
Prince: Kya acha lagega? Andar choclate thi,
pastry thi, milk badam tha.
Thodi der aur ruk jaate shayad Bipasha bhi aa jati.

Phoolon mein gulab achha lagta hai

Phoolon mein gulab achha lagta hai,
har chehre par shabab achha lagta hai,
aap hamesha naak se chuhe nikalte rahen,
hamein aapka yahi andaaz achha lagta hai

Kabhi hausla bhi azma lena chahiye

Kabhi hausla bhi azma lena chahiye,
Bure waqt me muskura lena chahiye,
Agar 7ve din bhi khujli na mite to
8ve din naha lena chahiye..!!!

A new way to send Romantic kiss to your girlfriend.

Good news! A new way to send Romantic
kiss to your girlfriend.
Just call me and order your kiss.
I will personally go and deliver it

Can v do romance in the evening today?

Can v do romance in the evening today?
I'm in a good mood
Just a little bit of kissing and biting
reply me soon!
urs lovingly
"MOSQUITO"

Dream makes everything possible

Dream makes everything possible,
Hope makes everything work,
Luv makes everything beautiful,
Smile makes all the above...
So always Brush ur Teeth

what do you want for your birthday?

Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it

A Love Letter from BISCUIT MAKER

A Love Letter from BISCUIT MAKER-
Dear Marie, Today is Good Day,
U r Anmol for me...
But U have Crackjacked my Heart,
Bcoz I have a Little Heart,
Now I m in 50/50 position..

Jise koyal samjhe, woh kauwa nikla

Jise koyal samjhe, woh kauwa nikla.
Dosti ke naam par hauwa nikla.
Jo roka karte they humein sharab peene se,
aaj unki jeb se pauwa nikla.

Unhe khilane pilaane main

Unhe khilane pilaane main hui hai yeh haalat,
Kasm khuda ki..Cinema bhi udhaar dekha hai…
Industrian sari mere yaar khaa gaye,
Meri Sari jaydaaad rishtedar khaa gaye,

Marne Ke baad bhi unho ne ki meri saath cheating,
Banaye mazar to minaar kha gaye…….

Girlfriend ko I love u bolna hai or recharge khatam

Girlfriend ko I love u bolna hai or recharge khatam.
Ab kya kare? Mein batata hoon kya karein.
Theke pe jao, quarter lo,
4 peg maro or g/f k ghar k bahar
khade ho k jor se chilaao I Luv U.
Kabootar mehenga pad jaayega.
Rum ka Paua ab sirf 10 RS mein.

Dosti karo college wali se

Dosti karo college wali se,
pyar karo office wali se,
batein karo pados wali se,
ankh ladao sali se,
love karo dilvali se,
AUR MAR KHAO GHARVALI SE.

What is the height of telling a lie

What is the height of telling a lie?
A negro telling his girlfriend,
"tenu kaala chasma jachda hai,
jachda hai gore mukhde te

Ik sherni nach rahi si

Ik sherni nach rahi si,
usnu dekhke thodi door ik chuha vi nach reha si.
Sherni ne puchia ki ho gaya?
Chuha kehnda, "Nachne nu kare mera jee,
haye ni tenu nachdi vekh ke

Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen

Mom: Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen.
Girl: Ladka to theek hai but mota hai.
Mom: TV chahe 14" ka ho ya 29" ka
remote 6" ka hi hota hai

gadbad

Paani mein whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.
Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai

What did the gangster's son tell his dad

What did the gangster's son tell his dad
when he failed his examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours
but I never told them anything."

sentimental love cards

Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved'
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them

Great Calculation

Great Calculation: Only 20% boys have brains.
Rest have Girlfriends

If I was an artist

If I was an artist,
you would be my picture!
If I was a poet,
you would be my inspiration!
If I was an author you would be my story!
But I'm only a cartoonist!

what is the most important source of finance for starting business

Commerce professor asks the student: what is the most
important source of finance for starting business?
Student: "Father in law

Agar apna character sudharna hai to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo

Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai to
sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo.
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega,
par mere baap ka bigad jayega

machhar says "MAA

Lady drinking coke, machhar falls in.
Lady takes it out, machhar says "MAA"!
Lady asks why did you call me "MAA"?
machhar says, "Main teri coke se nikla hoon, MAA!"

Every Indian women is RANI KAXMI BAI in her life

Every Indian women is RANI KAXMI BAI in her life.
RANI - Before marriage.
LAXMI - After marriage.
BAI - After children.

What do you call a female who never laughs?

What do you call a female who never laughs?
"HASINA

tuhadi umar kinni hai?

Chuha to haathi: tuhadi umar kinni hai?
Haathi: 1 Saal, te teri?
Chuha: Umar ta meri v 1 saal hi hai,
par saale nashe patte ne mittran di sehat down jehi karti.

Several women appeared in court

Several women appeared in court,
each accusing the other of the trouble
in the flat where they lived.
The judge called for orderly testimony.
"I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed.
The case was closed for lack of evidence

I am sending u a cup of tea

I am sending u a cup of tea
which is made by sugar of love.
milk of happiness.tea of joy n
there is no water of sorrow.
i hope this tea will refresh u
if u tired now

An apple a day keeps the doctor away

An apple a day keeps the doctor away,
but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Write a note on Gandhi Jayanti.

LECTURER: Write a note on Gandhi Jayanti.

CIRCUIT WRITES: Gandhi was a great man,
but maa kasam i dont know who is Jayanti.
Koi locha-lafda hoga buddhe ka

Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa

Munna: Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa,
meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.

Circuit: Aey Bhai ! aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna: Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada hai na.

bole to bachpan mein

Circuit, “Bhai… bole to bachpan mein apun 20th Floor se gir gaya tha.”
Munna Bhai, “Aisa kya? To fir bach gaya tha ya mar gaya tha?

Circuit, “Abhi jaane do na bhai itni purani baat…
Bole to ab apun ko jyada yaad nahin!!”

Bolay to Apun ko tera operation dobara karna paray ga

Munna: Bolay to Apun ko tera operation dobara karna paray ga.
Kyun k apun kay rubber k gloves teray andar hi reh gaye hain.

Patient: Agar yeh baat hai to mujhay jaanay do.
Mien tumharay gloves ki payment kar doon ga.

Maine aaj paani ko bevkuf banaya

Sardar 2 Sardarne: Maine aaj paani ko bevkuf banaya. Sardarne: woh kaise? Sardar: Maine paani Garam kiya but thande se naha liye ha ha ha.

Kaun sa station hai?

Train station par ruki. Ek aadmi khidki ke paas baethe sardar se- Kaun sa station hai? Sardar bahar dekh kr kuch der soch kar "lag to Railway Station raha hai".

Ek sardar exam dene gaya

Ek sardar exam dene gaya to apnay saath palumber ko saath le kar gaya.
guess karo kyun le kar gaya?
aray yaar simple hai us ko yeh news mili thi k paper leage ho gaya. ha ha ha

A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl,he Went and Kissed her

A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl,he Went and Kissed her.
Girl: "STUPID what r u doing?"
Sardar: B.Com final year"

Marriage Certificate ku 1 hour sae Dekh raha tha

Aik Sardar Apnae Marriage Certificate ku 1 hour sae Dekh raha tha.
Begam Ai Booli, Tusi inni Dair Say Kia Dekh Rahe Hu?
Sardar Bola, Expiry Date Dekh raha hoon..

Sardar on phone "Doctor my wife is pergnant

Sardar on phone "Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now".
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking...

Sardarji went to party and introduced his family

Sardarji went to party and introduced his family to his friends. I am Sardar and this is sardarney, this is my kid and this is my kidney

Beta ye kaisi machis lay kar aaye ho

SARDAR:: Beta ye kaisi machis lay kar aaye ho ek bhi nahi jal rahi
SON :: kya baat kartay ho pappa sub check kar kay laya hoooon

Tum to bas apne kaam me lage rehte ho..

Premika-Tum to bas apne kaam me lage rehte ho..Meri to koi prwah hi nhi he tumhe!Srdar Premi-Oye, Pyar krne wale kisi ki prwah Nahi karte

Once a sardar was looking at a WANTED poster

Once a sardar was looking at a WANTED poster & was
wondering -
Saala wanted tha to photo kheenchne ke baad use jaane
kyon diya ?

Sardar apni GirlFriend ko i love u kehta aur gir jata...

Sardar apni GirlFriend ko i love u kehta aur gir jata.I love u kehta aur fir gir jata. Girl: ye Kya kar rahe ho Sardar: i m falling in love.

A SARDAR IS SING A PATRIOTIC SONG

A SARDAR IS SING A PATRIOTIC SONG-""EY MERE VATAN KE LOGON
JARA AAINKH MEIN BHAR LO PANI,
JO SHAHEED HUYE HAIN UNKEE,
TUSSI GHAR LE AAO "JANANI"

2 sardars go for a drive. .

2sardars go for a drive. . . . OYE zara khidki ke bahar dekhi indicators working or not. . . sardar puts his head out & says yes..No..Yes..No..Yes..No.

I read read the whole book, too many character, no story at all

Sardar returns book to library, bangs it on table &
says - What a shit ?
"I read the whole book, too many character, no story
at all" ?.
Librarian : So, you are the one who took the Telephone
Directory...

Sardar Get Engaged with girl

Sardar Get Engaged with girl,
soon he came 2 know she had no affair b4,
he brokn the relation every 1 asked the reason!He said
"JO KISI OR KI NA HO SAKI WOH MERI KIA HOGI"

A sardar married to a short girl

A sardar married to a short girl.people asked to sardar why you married such a short girl. He replied our guru gee says maseebat jitni choti ho utna he acha hota hay.

One day Sardar happened to see a marathon race.

One day Sardar happened to see a marathon race.
"What the guys are doing" asked the sardar.
" We are running a marathon. The winner will get prize" replied one
runner.
"Only the winner will get prize! Then why others are participating!!"
Exclaimed the Sardar

A sardarji photographer

A sardarji photographer is focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function,
suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him. why? He said "SMILE PLEASE"

Will u marry , after i die

Sardar: Will u merry , after i die.
Wife : No i wiil live with my sister.
Wife : Will u marry , after i die.
Sardar: No i will also live with ur sister

Sardar apni BIBI k sath TAXI me

Sardar apni BIBI k sath TAXI me baitha.Driver ne aaina set kiya. Ye dekhte hi SARDAR gusse me bolaMeri BIBI ko DEKHTA hai, piche BAITH. Taxi me CHALAUNGA

sardar in mushkil

Sardar. to his friend:yaar bari mushkil main hoon mairi Bivi mujh say aik kiss ka RS.100 laiti hay
friend.Acha,yaar to baara lucky hay dosron sey woh 500aiti hai

Sardar Apni Wife Ke Sath

Sardar Apni Wife Ke Sath Coffee Shop Gaya, hot Coffee order Ki, Coffee Atte Hi wife Se Bola Jaldi Jaldi pee. Wife Boli Kyu? Sardar Bola Hot coffe Rs. 5 and Cold Coffee Rs. 10.00

in an interview

in an interview,
interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
SARDAR: dhuurrrrrrrrrr..
Interviewr shouts: stop it !
SARDAR: dhurr dhup dup dup dup.

Sardar car ki battery change karwane gaya

Sardar car ki battery change karwane gaya ...
Mechanic - Sahab, Exide ki daal doon ?
Sardar - Nahin yaar, dono side ki daal de, warna phir
problem hogi.

A sardar on an interview

A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was
asked a question
Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ?
Sardar - Thanks for giving me the job, I will
investigate

Sardarji, tell me

Sardarji, tell me ...., what is the meaning of SMS ?
Sardar angrily said, i know -
it means....
S - Sardaron ke
M - Mazak udane ki
S - Service

A sardarji Doctor falls in Love

A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister....

Darling main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta

Sardar to Girlfriend= Darling main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karrahe hai. Girlfriend= Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai. Sardar= 1 biwi aur 3 bacche

Sardar orders pizza

Sardar orders pizza.
Waiter: Sir shud i cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?
Sardar: 4 hi karde 8 khaye nahi jayenge

what is your birth date

Interviewer: what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR

I read the whole book, too many character, no story at all

Sardar returns book to library, bangs it on table &
says - What a shit ?
"I read the whole book, too many character, no story
at all" ?.
Librarian : So, you are the one who took the Telephone
Directory...

After returning back from a foreign trip

After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?

Any great man born in this village

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

Prito "Ek wari I LOVE YOU keh day

Sardar: Prito "Ek wari I LOVE YOU keh day"
Prito: "Nahi Sharam Andi Ey"
Sardar: "Keh Day NA"
Prito: "Nahi Na"
Sardar: "Dhake To Fir Meri Bahen Nahi

Ek sradar sochta raha...sochta raha... sochta raha...

Ek sradar sochta raha...sochta raha... sochta raha... saari zindagi sochta raha aur sochtay sochtay hi mar gaya k meri behan k 3 bhai hain tau mere 2 kyoun????

Ek sardar shadi se phley

Ek sardar shadi se phley apni bewi ko gana sunata hai mera mehbob mary sanam or sahdi key bad mai kery pasey jawona mai manji kethy dawna

WHY WAS SARDAR JEE ARRESTED IN A POLITICAL RALLY

WHY WAS SARDAR JEE ARRESTED IN A POLITICAL RALLY. BECOZ HE SAW A GIRL GOING AROUND WITH A BADGE ON HER CHEST WHICH SAID"PRESS" AND SARDAR JEE PRESSED IT

Do sardar ja rahah hote hain

Do sardar ja rahah hote hain,k samne se eik pregnant auorat aa rahih hoti hai,sardar dousre sardar se khata hain kiyaa is ko bhi laal chuti ne kaata hain

Aj 3 dako aaye see.

SARDARNI SAY:- aji sunday o..Aj 3 dako aaye see.. unhaan nay mere izat lut laee jay.
SARDAR SAY:- toon onhaan noo rokya naeen....?
SARDARNI REPLIES:- bohot rokya see... per o rukay e naeen.... kehen lagay HUN SANO JAAN DAY...ASSI THAK GAEE AAN

Sardar ji Aapko logo ne kyun mara

Sardar ji Aapko logo ne kyun mara? Sardar " yaar Meri Photo Bas main Gir Gayi To Maine Madam Se Kaha Zara Sadi Upar Karo Photo Lena Hai"

A sardar bunked his office and went home

A sardar bunked his office and went home and found his wife on bed with his boss.he run back and told his
coleagues :YAAR AJ TU MIEN BASS PAKAR GIA TA

Sardar ji; Bhagwan se

Sardar ji;
Bhagwan mujhe dard de,Dukh de,tention de,mujhe barbad kar de,mere piche BHoot laga de,
Bhagwan;abe sale ek line me bol ke biwi chahiye

Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home

Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.
Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints like
"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."

Sardarji calls Air India

Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the receptionist. "Thank you." says the Sardar and
hangs up

aap naach rahe ho?

There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the
sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general
'balle balle' is on. The people on the street find it strange that instead
of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its marriage baraat. So one of
them asks Santa Singh, ;Singh Saab, aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur
aap naach rahe ho?; .....comes the reply, ;Haan ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi
ki!!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar brain tumour se mara hai!!!

This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park

This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start
approaching, he was hiding under his seat when his friend asks him ;kyon
sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai.; Sardarji
replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin voh to
janwar hai, usko kya pata

A Sardar went 2 hotel

A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chiken, Waiter comes with the order, Surdar:Murgi di taang kithe hai? Waiter:Woh langra tha. Surdar: Dil? Waiter:Dil murgi le gayee. Surdar: Dimaag? Waiter: Murga SARDAR tha

2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy

2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.Sardar1:Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case. Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760!!

Ek Sardar ne ek bachy se pucha

Ek Sardar ne ek bachy se pucha k tum ko A,B,C Aaty hai to bachy ne keha k mujy 9 tak aty hia..
Sardar ne bachy se keha k oyee Ullu k pathy 9 A,b,c main nahe aata. yeh to Alif,, Be,,Main ata ha

likhan wala stupid

A sardar saw a board on which it was written " padhne wala stupid".
Sardar got irritated and wrote "likhan wala stupid"

What is Common between : Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji , Jesus..

What is Common between : Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays

Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?

Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed

How do you make a Sardar laugh

How do you make a Sardar laugh on "Saturday"?
Tell him "a joke Tuesday"

In aptitude test

In aptitude test
River Kaveri is in which state?
Sardar: liquid state.

butterfly

Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly

Akal badhi ya bhains

Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao.

What's Oxford

What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi

Tell me a word

Banta:Tell me a word consist of 100 letters.
Santa: P-O-S-T-B-O-X

Why dogs don't marry

Santa: Q - Why dogs don't marry?
Banta: A - Because they are already leading a dog's life

santa banta

Santa: "Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon".
Banta: "Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!"

santa banta

Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman

an apple

A four-year-old boy was eating an apple in the back seat of the car, when he asked, "Daddy, why is my apple turning brown?"

"Because," his dad explained, "after you ate the skin off, the meat of the apple came into contact with the air, which caused it to oxidise, thus changing the molecular structure and turning it into a different color."

There was a long silence. Then the son asked softly, "Daddy, are you talking to me?

llittle mind

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted criminals.

One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.

"Yes," said the policeman.

"The detectives want very badly to capture him."

Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

A lady

A lady arrived at the Madras airport after spending 36 hours in transit. She was fully exhausted after such a long trip with her 6 young kids.

Collecting many suitcases, the family entered the cramped customs area.

A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, "Ma'am," he said, "do all these children and this luggage belong to you?"

"Yes, sir," the lady said with a sigh. "They're all mine."

The customs agent began his interrogation "Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?"

"Sir," she calmly answered, "if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now."

Because...

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, “and why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

Little Johnny replied, “Because we must not disturb people while sleeping.”

maa aur beti

Mom: Beti badi ho kar kya karogi?
Beti: Kuch nahin... Maan banungi, padhungi, shaadi karungi... aur kya?
Mom: Jo karna hai karo par zara serial order mein karna

2 Sardar

There were 2 Sardar Jees going for fishing. One of the Sardar Jee notices a boy drowning. He looks up to the sky and says “Hey Raba please protect the small boy“

The other Sardar Jee bravely gets up and dives into the water to rescue the boy.

Fishing

When the Sardar Jee gets near to the boy he notices lot of people has surrounded him.

The Sardar Jee asks nervesuoly “Oh Gee Hoya?“

The man, who was a producer replies “Tu meri shooting kurab gurthee“

Ka karat ho

Rabri : Ka karat ho?
Laalu : Ek dost ko chitthi likhat hu!

Man writing letter

Rabri : Par tuhar likhna to aawe nahi.
Laalu : Vo sasura bhi to padhna nahi jaanat

Ek pathan

Ek pathan Cycle chalate aur gungunate howe kahin ja raha tha rastae mein ek aurat se takra betha.

Aurat chilla kar boli, “Break nahi maar sakte they kya ???”

cycle

Pathan herat se… “Pora cycle mar deya abhi break mar kar kia faida.”

Krishan ka janam

Train mein TT Sadhu se bola : Kahan jana hai?
Sadhu : Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha.
TT : Ticket hai?

Train

Sadhu : Nahin
TT : Chalo
Sadhu : Kahan?
TT : Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein

Dinner

Shaadi mein ek pathan bahut der tak khana kha raha tha.

Kisi ne poocha kab tak khaoge?

partywedding.jpg

Pathan: Mein toh khud kha-kha ke dukhi hoon, Per kya karon card mein likha tha Dinner 7 PM to 10 PM.

Kya aakhein hain, kya zulfein hain..

Oooofff ! Kya aakhein hain,..
Ooooff kya aakhein hain, (wah !! Wah !!)
Oooff kya aakhein hain, kya zulfein hain..
(Zara Gaur Farmayiyega. ..)
Ooooff! Kya aakhein hain, kya zulfein hain..
Masha-allah kya soorat paayi hai.
Aisa lagta hai….
Aisa lagta hai jaise…….

PEEPAL KE PED SE BHOOTNI UTER AAYI HAI..

Bhehar ki gali main paan ki dukan

Bhehar ki gali main paan ki dukan
Devdas ne dekhi Paro Ki muskan,
Devdas ne khilaya paro ko paan,
Khake paan Paro bolo”Shukriya Bhai Jan

sardar aur makhi

Sardar ne makhi k par tor k kaha,Urr ja.
But..
makhi nahin uri, Sardar ne kah1a,
Sabit hua agar makhi k par tor diyejain to makhi sun nahin sakti

connection’time out

Dil se ek ishq ki Ek application kar raha hoon.
Pyaar se ‘debug’ karna mein wait kar raha hoon.
Tumhaare intezaar mein neend aayee so gaya.
Yeh dekho mera connection’time out’ ho gaya

bachcho kA lAlan-pAlan kaise kare?”

das sAl kA ek bachA baDI talInatA ke sAth
ek pustak paDh rahA tha, jiska shirShak thA,
bachcho kA lAlan-pAlan kaise kare?”
bachche kI mAA ne dekhA to hairAnI se pUChHa-
“tU ye kitAb kyo paDh rahA hai?”
bachchA- “mai jananA chAhatA huN ki merA
lAlan-pAlan Thik se ho rahA hai yA nahI.”

ek Alochak

ek Alochak ne ek lekhak ke upanyAs kI bahut
AlochanA kI.lekhak gusse me Alochak ke pAsS
pahUNchA aur bolA- “AApane AAj tak to koI
upanyAs likhA nahI hai, tum AlochanA kaise
likh sakate ho.”
Alochak- “agar mai murgI kI tarah aNDA nahI
de saktA to kyA huA, AmaleT ke bAre me murgI
se jyAdA jAnatA hu.

Khush Ho Tum

Khush Ho Tum Tu Khushi Meri Ho
Ro Tum Tu Ankhen Num Meri Hon
Ae Dost Hamari Dosti Itni Gehri Ho K
Sarak K Us Paar Tum Pito Aur Ghalti Meri Ho

das paise kA savAl hai

bhikhArI- “das paise kA savAl hai, bAbujI das paise kA …. .”
bAbujI- “are CUM-se-CUM merI aukAt dekhakar mANg,
kyA das paise mANg rahA hai.”
bhikhArI- “bAbujI ek rupaye kA savAl hai.”
bAbujI- “abe… apanI aukAt dekhakar mANg.”

Dil k dard ko

Dil k dard ko zuba par laate nahi,
hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi,
Zakhm chahe kitne hi gahre kyo na ho,
hum DETTOL k siva kuch laagate nahi.

Monthly paas

PRINCIPAL :Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI :Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu?

Kaash Tere Chehre Pe

Kaash Tere Chehre Pe
Chickenpox Ke Daag Hote
Chand To Tum Ho Hi
Sitare Bhi Saath Hote

Filmi love letter

When I am: KareebThere is only: Khamoshi

I want to speak: Dil Se

That’s my kind of: Ishq

I want this to be: Gupt

As I always have: Darr

That I will loose you: Sajani

And that would be great: Sadma

I am your: Mr.Aashique

But sometimes bit: Deewana

Tell me: Hum Aapke Hain Kaun

As I feel : Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

In this : Duniya Dilwalon Ki

I told you: Maine Pyar Kiya

May be : Dil To Pagal Hai

Because: Jab Pyar Kisise Hota Hai

The whole world appears as: Dushman

But anyway: Pyar To Hona Hi Tha..

Khirki khuli zulfein bikhri

Khirki khuli zulfein bikhri
Dilne kaha dildar nikla
Par haire meri footi kismat
Nahaya hua sardar nikla..

cake

Bolaa dukaan-daar, ke kyaa chahiye tumhain
Jo bhii kaho gai merii dukaan per wo paogai
maine kahaa ke kutte ke khaane kaa cake hai
bolaa yahiin pe khaaoge yaa leke jaaoga

Bhoot bankar darayenge tumhee…

Girl : (Emotionaly)
Darte hain agg say kahin jal na jayen..
darte hain Khwab say Kahin Toot Na jayen..
Lakin Sub Say Ziada Darty hain Es baat say…
Kay App Hamain KAhin Bhool Na jaye..
Boy :
Yeh mat sochna ki hum bhool jayenge tuemhe…
Door rehkar bhi hamesha chahenge tumhe…
Agar Dost bankar raas na aaye to…..
Bhoot bankar darayenge tumhee…

Razai Na Milay

Khuda Karay K Tum Ko Judai Na Milay
Kabhi Bhi Tanhai Na Milay
Mujhay Sms Na Karo To Kuch Aisa Ho
K Mosam Ho Sardi Ka Or Tum Ko Razai Na Milay

Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye

Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aur humare dil se awaaz nikalii….
Fiteh Mooh…Tusin Ethe vii aa gaye !!

Aapko phone kiya

Aapko phone kiya toh network bola,
Namaskar, paaglo ki duniya me aapka swagat hai,
Aap jiss pagal se baat karna chahte hai,
Iss waqt uska dimaag ka switch off hai, Plz try later!

sonam kapoor

According to sources, Sonam Kapoor, the ever smiling and charming girl from Delhi 6 has found good friend in cinematographer Vikas Naulaka. Naulaka who has recently honed his skills in Los Angeles has become the most sought after cinematographer in the film industry today.

Sonam and Vikas are connected a long back when Vikas was also an assistant to Sanjay Leela Bhansali like Ranbir and Sonam for film Black. May be that was the time when Sonam and Vikas started their friendship. When asked to Sonam about her friendship with the cinematographer, Sonam replied, “It’s ridiculous. Where do you guys get your information from?”

mother and father

A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race come about?”

The Mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve; they had children and, so all mankind was made.”

A few days later, the little girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys, and we developed from them.”

motherchat.jpg

The confused girl returns to her mother and says, “Mom, how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God , and Papa says we developed from monkeys?”

The Mother answers, “Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family, and your father told you about his side.”

Nepolian

Nepolian ek Sardarji ko bade garv se kehata hai : Mere dictionary mein impossible word hi nahi hai.

Dictionery

Sardarji bolata hai : To pahele hi acchi tarah se dekh lene ka na sab word hai ke nahi, aage se word rahenge wohi dictionary le.

car ki speed

Sardar : O banno car ki speed itni kyon badha di?

car

Banno : Oji car ki break fail ho gayi hai, accident ho jaye iske pehle ghar pahunch jaate hain….!

M.R.F ka tyre

SARDAR : Yaar maine apni girl friend ko gift dena hai, kya du?
2ND : Gold ring de de.

Tyre

1ST : koi badi cheez bata.
2ND : M.R.F ka tyre de de.

Zebra

A donkey kicked sardar & ran away, sardar ran to catch the donkey.



He saw a zebra and started beating it and said, ‘Sala tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai’.

Delhi se Mughalsarai

Delhi se Mughalsarai jaanewali ek train mein kuch budhyijibi type ke log sawar thy..

Woh log jor jorse antarrashtriya stor ke batien kar rahe thhe.

Train

Upar ke birth par so rahe ek brahmin ko bahut pareshani ho rahi thhi.

Batien karte karte ek sajjan bole, “pahle punjibaad aya, fir samyabaad aur aab samajbaad ayega.”

Tabhi upar se woh vyakti chillaya, “bhaisaab jab Ilahabaad aye to mujhe thora jaga dena!!!”

Fishing

There were 2 Sardar Jees going for fishing. One of the Sardar Jee notices a boy drowning. He looks up to the sky and says “Hey Raba please protect the small boy“

The other Sardar Jee bravely gets up and dives into the water to rescue the boy.

Fishing

When the Sardar Jee gets near to the boy he notices lot of people has surrounded him.

The Sardar Jee asks nervesuoly “Oh Gee Hoya?“

The man, who was a producer replies “Tu meri shooting kurab gurthee“

name of your car

Sardar : What is the name of your car?



Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

cricket

Seeing Santa Singh depressed one of his friends asks him.

“Oye why are you sad?”

To which Santa replies …“I lost Rs 300 in bet.”

cricket

His friend ask hims…“How?”

Santa Singh says..“I bet on India for Rs 200…”But unfortunately India lost

His friend queries..“But you said Rs 300…”

Santa Singh answers…“I again bet for India for Rs 100 in the highlights of the match”

Santa and banta jungle mein

Santa and banta jungle mein, saamne aayaa sher…



Banta ne sher ki aakhon main matthi phenki, aur bhaagne lagaa aur santa ko bhi bhaagne ko kahaa.

Santa : Main kyun bhaagu, matthi to tune phenki hai.

girls

Girl of 1960 : Aye bahar hai…jia bekarar hai… aja moray balma tera intezar hai.


Girl of 2007 : Aye bahar hai…jia bekarar hai… aje moray balma warna dusra tayyar hai.

A Sardarji

A Sardarji went to toilet ten times within half-an-hour.



Somebody asked,“Sardarji aapko chain nahin hai kya?”

Sardar : Hai to sahi, par khul nahin rahi!

Bivi aur ghadi

Ek aadmi doosrey aadmi sey bola:

“Bivi aur ghadi mey kya faraq hey?”

Wife

Doosra Aadmi bola:

“Ek bigarti hai to bandh ho jati hai……Doosari bigarti hai to “SHUROO” ho jati hai”

Sardarji

Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him.

Railway track

Somebody stops him and asks, kya hai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?

Sardarji replies, Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na mar jaun

goat

Mayawati came to Lalu’s house with a goat…
Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyun layi ho?


Maya : Dikhta nahi, goatwa hai.
Lalu : Hum goatwa se hi puch raha hu!!!

Santa Banta

Santa : Badda dukh hoya si teri wife di mout ki khabar sunker, wase hoya ki si?

two men

Banta : Goli lagi si matthe vich.

Santa : Shukar rabb da ankh bach gai.

chote bacche

Ek chote bacche ne apani pregnant mummy se pucha : Isme kya hai?

Pregnant

Mummy : Issme pyara sa Baby hai.

Baccha : Itana pyara tha to khaya kyu ussko?

talking on cell.

Sardar talking on cell.
2nd Sardar : Kis se baat kar raho ho.
1st Sardar : Biwi se…

Cell phone

2nd Sardar : Itne… Pyaar se?
1st Sardar : Tumhari hai…

Phone ki ganti

Phone ki ganti baji.
Santa : Phone mere liye ho toh kehna mein ghar pe nahi hoon.
Jasmeet : Wo ghar pe hain.

Phone

Santa : Maine mana kiya tha ke…
Jasmeet : Phone mere liye tha!

Jor se bolo…

Teacher : ‘A’ for?
Student : Apple !!!

Teacher

Teacher : Jor se bolo…
Student : JAI MATA DI

marriage

Dad : The girl whom I showed you is roopvati, gunvati and dhanvati. So you should marry her.

Dad and son

Son : But the girl whom I love is roopvati, dhanvati and garbhvati so I must marry her.

Santa

Jasmeet caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room.

Jasmeet : “What are you searching for?”

Man watching tv

Santa : “Hidden camera!”

Jasmeet : “And what makes you think that there are hidden camera here?”

Santa : “That guy on tv knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying, You are watching the Star World channel. How does he know that?

dost

Ek aadmi apne dost ki kabar par phool daal raha hota hai.

Aur brabar mein bhi, ek aadmi apne dost ki kabar par chawal daal raha
hota hai.



Pehla aadmi doosre se kehta hai, “Ye tumhara dost phool sunghne kab uthe ga?”

Doosra aadmi, “Jab tumhara dost chawal khane uthe ga.”

Mahabharata

In a remote village of India, once Masterji is teaching the Mahabharat katha to class 6 students. He is at the ‘Krishna janma’ part of it.

Masterji : “Kansa heard the akashwani that his sister’s 8th child is going to kill him. He was furious. He ordered to put Vasudev and Devki behind the bars. First son is born, and kansa kills him by poisoning… Second one is born n Kansa throws him off the mountain peak. Third one is born…

Teacher

Ramu : I have a doubt (sounding nervous and confused).

Masterji : “Ramu bete, whole India does not have doubt in Mahabharata then how come you have one?”

Ramu : Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki’s 8th child was going to Kill him, “Why the hell did he put Vasudev and Devaki in the same cell?”

Masterji fainted.

Football show

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Jokes In Hindi


Sohar Aur Biwi Soo Rahe
(47 votes, average: 3.19 out of 5)
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Raat ko sohar aur biwi soo rahe they. Ek dam se biwi ko sohar ki awaaz aayi, biwi uth kar sohar se poocha, “kya baat hai?”

Sohar ne bataaya, “ke meri kameez zameen par gir pari thi”

husband-and-wife-on-bed.jpg

Biwi ne kaha ke, “toh itna shor kyun machaya”

Sohar bola, “ke uss kameez mein main bhi tha!!!”





Football show


Laloo to his P.A.: Itne khiladi kyun football ko laat maar rahe hai?

Football

P.A.: Goal kar ne k liye.

Laloo: Susra, ball toh pahle se hi gol hai aur kitna gol karenge!

free text jokes

Raat ko sohar aur biwi soo rahe they. Ek dam se biwi ko sohar ki awaaz aayi, biwi uth kar sohar se poocha, “kya baat hai?”

Sohar ne bataaya, “ke meri kameez zameen par gir pari thi”

husband-and-wife-on-bed.jpg

Biwi ne kaha ke, “toh itna shor kyun machaya”

Sohar bola, “ke uss kameez mein main bhi tha!!!”

joke

Munna : Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa, meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.

Doctor

Circuit : Aey Bhai!!! aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna : Bolay to meri fees bahut zyada hai.

admi aur sadhu

Ek admi sadhu se bola,

Meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upaya batayien na shadu ji…

sadhu.jpg

Aur phir shadu ghusse me bole,

Abe saale upaya hota to main sadhu kyu banta.

sharabi

Ek sharabi ne bahut zyada sharab pee le. Jab woh ghar aaya to uss ne jeb se chabi nikali aur tala ko kholney laga.

Haath kaapne ke wajha se chabi kabhi idhar hat jati kabhi udhar hat jati, ek admi pass se guzra toh sharabi ne usey bataya ki tala nahi khul rahi hai.

drunk.jpg

Uss shaks ne sharabi ke pass ja kar kaha, “lao chabi tala main khol deta hoon”

Aur phir sharabee ne kaha, “Tala toh main hi kholonga bas tum makan ko pakar ke rakhna”

Naak saaf karlo

Jokes In Hindi


Why’s Santa’s phone OFF bhai??


Santa : I tried your number so many times, it always said ‘Switched Off’!

sant-aphone.jpg

Banta : Nahi Pape, it’s my HELLO TUNE!




Naak saaf karlo


Ek ladki apny boy friend ke saath nayi garri main long drive per jaa rahi thi achanak raastey mein larki kehnay lagi…..“suno ! kya tum aik haath se garri chala saktay ho?”

dv.jpg

Kyu nahi.. ladke ne bade fakher se garden akraaii…

Aur phir larki ne aahista se kaha, “Toh phir doosray haath se apni naak saaf karlo”

Long Time No C..

Santa meets his friend Banta
Santa : A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B…!

Banta : Oye, Iska Matlab ?

abc.gif

Santa : Kuch Nahin Yaar, I Mean Long Time No C..

auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho

Lady Doctor: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho?

lady-doctor.jpg

Santa: Ji, aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am

kal ke chakkar

Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.

Saheb: Kal aana. Kalbeggar.gif

Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain.

curtains

Santa enters a store that sells curtains.

He tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.”

He showed him several patterns, but Santa seemed to be having a hard time choosing.

pink.jpeg

Finally, he selects a lovely pink floral print.

The salesman asked what size curtains he needed.

Santa replies, “Fifteen inches.”

“Fifteen inches?” asked the salesman. “That sounds very small, what room are they for?”

Santa tells him that they aren’t for a room, they are for his computer monitor.

The surprised salesman replies, “But, sir, computers do not have curtains!”

Santa says, “Hellllooooooooo……..I’ve got Windows!”

born in punjab

Boss: Where were you born ?

Sardarji: Oye Punjab.

sardargif.jpg

Boss: Which part?

Sardarji: Oye, Kya which part? Whole body born in Punjab.

James Bond and a Telgu guy

James Bond and a Telgu guy fly to Newyork in a flight. Telgu guy takes the initiative to converse with James Bond.

Telgu guy asks the name of Bond.

Bond says: Bond! James Bond! James Bond 007!

And Bond asks Telgu Guy’s name.

bond.jpg

Telgu Guy replies: Prasad! Venkat Prasad!
Veera Venkat Prasad! Sai Veera Venkat Prasad! Srilakshmi Sai Veera Venkat Prasad!

Venkateshwara Srilakshmi Sai Veera Venkat Prasad! Srinivasukala Venkateshwara Srilakshmi

Sai Veera Venkat Prasad!
Sita Ramanjaneyula Srinivasula Venkateshwara Srilakshmi Sai Veera Venkat Prasad!

done-dana-dan

Teacher to a student: “Ess line ki english banao- Usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gaya.”

done.jpg

Student - He done his work and done-dana-dan done-dana-dan

A for apple

Banta class mein - madam maine “abc” yaad karli..
Madam -ok , to sunao..

Banta - abcdefghijklemnopqrstuvwxyz…..
Madam - arey aise nahi ….aise suna A for apple

Banta - ok madam…. A for apple.


B for bada apple.
C for chhota apple.
D for dusra apple.
E for ek aur apple.
F for fokat ka apple.
G for gol apple.

H for hazar apple
I for itney saarey apple?
J for jaao nahi khaani hai apple
K for kaise nahi khaayengey apple
L for lena padhega tumko apple
M for mujhe nahi chahiye itne apple
N for naa nahi kehtey kyunkey yeh hai apple
O for Oh to tumne khaa daale yeh saare apple
P for peth bhar khaao apple
Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple
R for roz agar khaao tum apple
S for sehetmand rahoge khaaogey agar tum apple
T for tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple
U for udhaar kii nahi hai yeh apple

V for very tasty hai yeh apple
W for waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se apple
X for X’mas mei bhii Hi! khana padenge apple
Y for yun na chehra phero dekhkey apple
Z for zaraasa aur khaalo apple aur………..

Itne Kum Marks

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Jokes In Hindi


Sandal nikalu kya?
(88 votes, average: 3.9 out of 5)
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Boy : Jaan-e-man… ees dil me aaja na!


Boy : Pagli, yeh mandir nahi… aise hi aaja!!




Itne Kum Marks!!


Bhola: Itne kum marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.

3243966thm.gif

Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine oos master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

funny message

Boy : Jaan-e-man… ees dil me aaja na!

Girl : Sandal nikalu kya?



Boy : Pagli, yeh mandir nahi… aise hi aaja!!

santa buys india ka flag

Santa to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India ka flag dikhao.



Shopkeeper ne flag dikhaya,
Santa: - Isme aur colour dikhao

Pink aur Pappu

Pappu Pinko ko pasand karta hay, aur Pinki Pappu k bhai ko… Jab k Pappu k bhai ko Pinki ki behan achi lagti hai aur Pinki ki behan ko Pappu pasand karti hai.

Halan-k Pappu pehle hi Pinki ko chahta hai…. Ab jab-k Pinko ko Pappu acha nahin lagta aur Pappu ka bhai Pinki k liye razi nahi hay aur Pappu Pinki ki behan se pyar nahin karta jab k Pinki ki behan ko Pappu ka bhai acha nahin lagta… To ye unka personal problem hay.

21535496thm.jpg

Aap kyon apna dimag kharab ker rahe ho!!

mehengi jaga

Wife: Aji suniye, mujhe kisi mehengi jaga le ke chaliye na ji….

Husband: Chalo, tayyar ho jao…

20429409thm.jpg

Guess where he took her….
………
……..
…..
….
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Petrol pump!!!

ek gadha

Ek sahebji ghabraye hue aaye aur biwi se bole: “Begam, aaj main office se aa raha tha ki raste mein ek gadha…!”

Itne mein unki bachhi bol uthi: “Mummy, Shyam ne meri gudiya tod di hai.” Pati ne phir kehna shuru kiya “Haan toh begam, main keh raha tha ki raste mein ek gadha…..!”

wife-and-husband.jpg

Itne mein unka ladka bola: “Mummy, Rita ne meri car tod di hai.”

Biwi ghusse mein aakar boli: “Bhagwan ke liye tum sab chup ho jao, mujhe pehle gadhe ki baat sun lene do..!”
Submitted by: sahid

thisra koun

Ek metting hoti hai uss metting mein sirf sardar hi sardar thay. Sare sardar iss baat par behas kar rahe thai ki sirf sardaro par hi jokes kyun bantain hai aur kisi par kyun nahi. Iss mein se ek sardar utha or bola ki main iske bare mein pata lagaounga.

Who iske liye America gaya aur waha ke president se mila aur bola ki sirf sardaron par hi jokes kyun banay jantain hai. Toh president bola ki main suna hai ki sardar mein mind kam hota hai.

Ye sunte hi sardar ko ghussa aagaya. President ne kaha ki main proof kar sakta hoon. Sardar bola kaise???


President: Acha bataon mere ghar mein main, meri bivi, mere bache, par thisra koun? Bohot sochne samajhne ke baad bhi sardar uske sawalo ka jawab nahi de paya.

Toh president ne jawab diya ki who thisra kon?… main Mister Clinton. Jawab leker sardar wapas aagaya phir metting bethi. Sabhi ne kaha kya tumne pata lagaya. Toh sardar ne kha ki haa. Hampe jokes iss liye bantain hai ki haam bewakuph hotain hai.

Yeh suntain hi waha par bethai sabhi sardar pinak gaye par unko shant karte hue sardar bola ki usne proof kiya hai. Chalo main tum sab se ek sawal karta hoon ki mere ghar mein main, meri bivi, mere bache, par thisra koun? Sabhi shochne lage par koi jawab nahi de paya tab sardar bola, “Are bhai thisra koun woh Mister Clinton.”
Submitted by: Mohanish Sharma

machcher

Malik alsi nokar se:- Yahan par itne sare machcher gun-gun kar rahen hai tu unhe maar gira.

Thodi der bad


Malik:- Abe sale nokar ke bachche maine tujhe machcher marne ko kaha abhi tak tune mare nahi. Woh ab bhi gun-guna kar rahe hai

Alsi nokar:- Malik machcher toh maine maar diye. Yeh toh unki bibi hai jo vidhva ho kar ro rahi hai.

gadhe ka aashirwaad

Ek baar ek ladka rastey mein chalte chalte ek gadhe ke samne gir gaya.

donkey-wife.jpg

Tabhi ek ladki ne use chhedte hue kaha, “Apne bade bhai ka aashirwaad le rahe ho kya?”

Ladke ne palat kar jawab diya, “Sahi farmaya bhabhi ji.”

bahar ke chej

Ek bar ek ladka samosa ke bich ke aalu ko kha raha tha aur bahar ke hisse ko phek raha tha.

Dushra dost usse poochta hai ke tum samose ke sirf aalu ko kyun kha rahe hoo?

samosa.jpg

Pehla: Doctor ne mujhe bahar ke chejo ko khane se mana kiya hai

Ek second…

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Jokes In Hindi


Larki mehnati hoti hai
(43 votes, average: 3.44 out of 5)
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Research ke mutabiq larkian larkon se zyada mehnati hoti hai
Aapko pata hai kaise??
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Nahi pata
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girl2.jpg
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Main bata deta hoon aapko
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- Continue Reading »

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Ek second…

Patni: Suno ji mere saath tumhare dus saal kaise beete?

Pati: Ek second ki tarah.

Patni: Agar main tumse 10000 rs mangu toh kaisa lagega?

Pati: Chavnni ki tarah.

wifea-nd-udhsband.jpg

Patni: Jara 10000 rs dena toh

Pati: Abhi deta hu ek second mein

hindi jokes

Saas: Khuda ne tumhe do aankhe di hai, Chawal se patthar nahi nikal sakti kya?

rice.jpg

Bahu: Khuda ne tumhe battis daant diye hai do char 2-4 patthar nahi chabba sakti kya!!!

work load

Salesman told to a Customer,”Sir this PC will cut your work load by 50%.”

salesman.jpg

Then the customer told, “That is great! O.K. I will buy two of them.”

chuha marne ki dawa

Ek samay do bahut milne wale dost rahte thay. Lekin ek din ek dost ka maut ho gaya aur police investigate karne ke liye aaya aur uske dost ko sawal poochne laga…

investigation.jpg

Police: “Tumhara dost kaise mara?”

Sardar: “Pata nahi sahab, woh bola mere pet mein chuhe kud rahe hai toh maine usko chuha marne ki dawa khila di.”

Pathan

Pathan ko dost ne khanay pe bulaya.
Pathan jab dost ke ghar aaya toh ghar pe tala laga tha,
Aur likha tha maine bewaqoof banaya tumko.



Pathan ne Hoshiyari dikhai or niche likh diya,
“Main toh aaya hi nahi tha”

Gabbar ka khauf

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Jokes In Hindi


Gabbar ka khauf…


Maa apne bete se kehti: Beta so ja warna gabbar aa jayega.

fdff.jpg

Beta apni maa se kehta: Maa mujhe Chocolate do varna papa se keh dunga ke mere sone ke bad roz gabbar aata hai.

funny hindi sms

Pandit : Tumhare jeevan mein 6 ladkiya aayengi.

Thambu : Wow, kya baat hai.

pandit.jpg

Pandit: Zyada khush honey ki baat nahi hai. Ek gharwali aur 5 betiya hai..

funny message

Ek baar ek terrorist ne Ritu ke ghar mein bomb rakh diya.

Log chillaye : Ritu bomb hai, Ritu bomb hai.

bomb.jpg

Ritu sambhal kar boli : Dhatt teri ki, woh toh mein jawani mein thi !! Ab nahi rahi.

sms jokes

Sardar: Mere podho ko pani de ramu.


Ramu: Sir barish gir rahi hai!

Sardar: Bahana nahi chahiae, chata leke ja…

Doctor aur patient

Doctor ek patient ke pichhe bhag raha tha… Ek aadmi ne puchha kya hua?


Doctor : Are yaar char bar aisa hua hai sala brain ka operation karwana aata hai aur baal katwake chala jata hai.

Sardar Bunks

Sardar Bunks office n goes to home.
He saw his wife with his boss.
He comes back running office and says,
"baap re, boss ne dekh liya hota to maar daalta"

underwear

Ek ladke ne jockey ka underwear kharida. 2 din bad woh gaon chala gaya.

jokckey.jpg

Waha usne apni dhoti upar karke sabko dikhaya.

Baad mein ghar pahuncha toh pata chala ki underwear toh chair par para tha!!!

message joke

Teacher: Zameen par rehne wali janwer bacche deti hai, Hawa mein urne wali andey deti hai!
Woh konsi cheez hai jo hawa mai bhi urti hai or bacche bhi deti hai??

airhostesss.jpg

Student: “Air Hostess!”

free hindi sms

Boy to girl at a dance party: “Kya tum mere sath dance karogi?”

Girl reply: “Main bacche ke saath dance nahi karti.”

dacneparty.jpg

Boy: Sorry mujhe pata nahi tha ki tum pregnent ho

Munnabhain and circuit

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Jokes In Hindi


Sesh naag ki godh
(27 votes, average: 3.96 out of 5)
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Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua tha. Aur wife ne pyaar se apne husband se puchha:

sleep.jpg

Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.

Husband: Aise, jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete hon.

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Doorbell bajao aur bhago
(38 votes, average: 3.79 out of 5)
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Ek chota baccha bahut der se ghar ke bahar khada darwaje ki ghanti bajane ki kosish kar raha tha.Toh ek budha aadmi aaya aur kaha:

Budha aadmi: Kya kar rahe ho beta?

Baccha: Uncle, yeh ghanti bajana chahta hoon.

dorrbells.jpg

Budha aadmi (ghanti bajake): Yeh lo bajgaya, ab kya hai?

Baccha: Ab bhago!
Submitted by: Rishabh Mathur

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Munnabhain and circuit


Circiut: Bhai, who apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla hai aaj raat ko dinner pe.
Mera Sara chain collection apne kamray mein chupa do na please.

goldcahih.jpg

Munna bhai: Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?

Circiut: Nahin Bhai, woh apne chain pehchan lega.

jokes hindi

Cute, Romantic and Funny SMS Messages - Click Here


Jokes In Hindi


Sesh naag ki godh
(27 votes, average: 3.96 out of 5)
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Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua tha. Aur wife ne pyaar se apne husband se puchha:

sleep.jpg

Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.

Husband: Aise, jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete hon.

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Ek chota baccha bahut der se ghar ke bahar khada darwaje ki ghanti bajane ki kosish kar raha tha.Toh ek budha aadmi aaya aur kaha:

Budha aadmi: Kya kar rahe ho beta?

Baccha: Uncle, yeh ghanti bajana chahta hoon.

dorrbells.jpg

Budha aadmi (ghanti bajake): Yeh lo bajgaya, ab kya hai?

Baccha: Ab bhago!

Shesh naag ki godh

Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua tha. Aur wife ne pyaar se apne husband se puchha:

sleep.jpg

Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.

Husband: Aise, jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete hon

funny hindi sms

Banta mujra dekhne gaya, Sari raat mujra dekhta raha

Bai: Saheb humne aap ko khush kiya, Ab aap hamein khush karo.

bantadance.jpg

Toh banta utha aur khud nachne laga.

bacche ki maa

Ek bar ek chitti ne Hathani ke kan mein kuch kaha toh hathni behos ho gayi.

antelephant.jpg

Phir kisine chitti se pucha ke tune kya kaha?

Chitti Boli: Maine itna hi kaha ke “Main tumhare bacche ki maa banne wali hoon!

Cute, Romantic and Funny SMS Messages - Click Here


Jokes In Hindi


Shaadi ka bahana
(21 votes, average: 3.33 out of 5)
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Newly married wife husband se: Tumne apne doston se yeh kyun kaha ki mujhe bahut accha khana banana aata hai.

cookingtips.jpg

Husband: Ab tumse shaadi karne ki koi wajah toh mujhe batani hi thi.
Submitted by: arvin

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Lalu-Rabri Funny Riddle
(65 votes, average: 3.48 out of 5)
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Lalu to Rabri: Agar tum batao ki iss bag ke andar kya hai, toh sare eggs tumare, agar tum batao kitne eggs toh 8 ke 8 tumare, aur agar tum bata do ke ande kiske hai toh woh mur.




Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phansi di jayegi.

Sardar: Ha ha ha!

hangtode.jpg

Police: Kyu hass rahe ho?

Sardar: Main toh subah 8 baje tak sota hoon!

jokes

Lalu to Rabri: Agar tum batao ki iss bag ke andar kya hai, toh sare eggs tumare, agar tum batao kitne eggs toh 8 ke 8 tumare, aur agar tum bata do ke ande kiske hai toh woh murgi bhi tumari.

murgi.jpg

Rabri: Lalu Ji, koi hint toh do na plz?

Shaadi ka bahana

Jokes In Hindi


Shaadi ka bahana


Newly married wife husband se: Tumne apne doston se yeh kyun kaha ki mujhe bahut accha khana banana aata hai.

cookingtips.jpg

Husband: Ab tumse shaadi karne ki koi wajah toh mujhe batani hi thi

funny message

Shaadi mein ek pathan bahut der tak khana kha raha tha.

Kisi ne poocha kab tak khaoge?

partywedding.jpg

Pathan: Mein toh khud kha-kha ke dukhi hoon, Per kya karon card mein likha tha Dinner 7 PM to 10 PM.

funny hindi sms

Wife: Woh admi jo drink kar raha hai, Usko maine 10 saal pehle shadi ke liye inkaar kia tha. Dekho who aaj tak sharab pee raha hai!

drinkpub.jpg

Husband: Wow! itni lambi celebration!

James Bond

One day James Bond goes to buy a pan. The pan walla asks him 4 Rs. for the pan but James Bond gives him only 1.5 rs.

shopkeeper.jpg

When paan waala asks him for the rest of the money, Bond replies…??
Dhai(2.5) another day!

sms jokes

Bahu: Maaji, yeh abhi tak nahi aaye, kahi koi ladki ka chakkar toh nahi hai unke ?

discuss.jpg

Maaji: Are kalmuhi tu toh hamesha galat hi sochti hai, Ho sakta hai ke kisi truck ke niche aa gaya ho!

sms jokes,

Bahu: Maaji, yeh abhi tak nahi aaye, kahi koi ladki ka chakkar toh nahi hai unke ?

discuss.jpg

Maaji: Are kalmuhi tu toh hamesha galat hi sochti hai, Ho sakta hai ke kisi truck ke niche aa gaya ho!

funny hindi sms

Anil road par nanga bhag raha tha.

Sunil ne usse rok kar poocha: Arre bhai esa kyu kar rahe ho, kyu nanga bhag rahe ho, tumhe sharam nahi aati?

runningnanga.jpg

Anil: Kyu ki aaj tum jaldi ghar aagaye, Issi liye

funny hindi sms

Husband: Sir, meri wife gumm ho gayi hai.

Postmaster: Bhai yeh postoffice hai. Ja ke policestation mein complaint likhao.
postoffice.jpg

Husband: Kya karun…, khushi ke mare kuch samaj hi nahi aa raha…

funny jokes hindi

Husband: Tumse shaadi karke mujhe ek bahut bada faayda hua hai!

quarreling.jpg

Wife: Woh kya?

Husband: Mujhe mere gunaaho ki saza jeete jee hi mil gayi!

police Inspector

Ek police Inspector ke ghar chori ho rahi thi.

Wife: Utho ji, ghar mein chori ho rahi hai.

inispector.jpg

Police Inspector: Mujhe sone de, main iss time duty par nahi hoon.

free hindi sms

Ek dost dusre dost se: “Kya, tumne jhoot pakarne wali machine dekhi hai?

marriedtoher.jpg

Doosra dost: Deki nahi mere paas mein hai! Are maine to usse shadi ki hai.”

hindi jokes

Santa: Kaam wali shanti ko bulao.!

patients.jpg

Wife: Kyun?

Santa: Doctor ne kaha hai, raat mein dawa khane ke baad shanti ke saath so jaana

phone per dhamkiya

Customer: Mujhe phone per dhamkiya mill rahi hai.

telephone.jpg

Police: Kaun hai woh jo aapko dhamkiya de raha hai?

Customer: Telephone wale bolte hai ke, “Bill nahi bharoge toh kaat denge.”

Going hunting…

Cute, Romantic and Funny SMS Messages - Click Here


Jokes In Hindi


Battery low….
(38 votes, average: 3.84 out of 5)
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Friend1: Are yaar ye mobile to mujhe kangaal kar dega.

mobile-cell.jpg

Friend2: Kyu?

Friend1: Baar baar dikhaata hai “Battery Low” ab tak 56 battery badal chuka hoon!

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Going hunting…


Wife: Why are you waiting here?

Husband: Sher ka shikar karne ja raha hoon mere darling!

donhunt.jpg

Wife: Toh jao naa khade kyu ho!

Husband: Kaise jaau.. Bahar kutta jo khada hai!

Battery low….

Cute, Romantic and Funny SMS Messages - Click Here


Jokes In Hindi


Battery low….


Friend1: Are yaar ye mobile to mujhe kangaal kar dega.

mobile-cell.jpg

Friend2: Kyu?

Friend1: Baar baar dikhaata hai “Battery Low” ab tak 56 battery badal chuka hoon

Secret of young age…

Secret of young age…

One lady is telling to a girl, “Do you know what is the secret of being young?

The girl told, “May be take care of skin.“

youngage.jpg

The lady told, “No, the secret of being young is sleep the right numbers of hours, go with the right crowed, eat right food and tell the WRONG AGE.”

free text jokes

Baap bete se: Car mein puncture kaise ho gaya?

Beta: Sadak par bottle padi thi.

caraccident.jpg

Baap: Bottel dikhayi nahi di tujhe!

Beta: Ladke ki jeb mein thi

itna bada kab

Beta papa se: Papa main itna bada kab ho jaunga ki mummy se bina poochey ghar se bahar ja sakoo.

father-son.jpg

Papa thandi saans lete hue: Beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon.

Sharab se nafrat

.


Sharab se nafrat


Mohan: Ladkiya sharab se itni nafrat kyun karti hai?

sher.jpg

Sohan: Kyun ki isko pine ke baad unke chue jaise pati shero jaise bartab karne lagte hai!!!

Khada kar diya

Jokes In Hindi






Khada kar diya


Krish
: Doctor ne mujhe kaha tha ki woh do hapte mein mujhe pairo par khada kar dega!

doctorbill.jpg

Jack: Accha kya who aisa kar paya?

Krish: Ha uska bill chukane ke liye mujhe apni car jo bechni padi

doctor

Marij ke marne ke baad doctor ne diwar par tangi bhagwan ki taswir ki ore haath jodkar sir jhukate hue puri shradha ke saath kaha: Hey prabhu meri ore se yeh pehli bhet swikar kijiye!

shadi

Boy:Tum mujh se shadi kro gi?
Girl:NahiBoy: Laikin Q?
Girl:Meray ghar walay nhi manain gay
Boy:Ghar main kon kon hay?
Girl:1 Husband aor 3 bachay

Taj Mahal

Taj Mahal kya cheez hai
main to usse bhi bara mahal banaoonga,
aree Mumtaz to marke dafan hui thi,
main to tujhe zinda hi dafna doonga.

boss ki talbe pe

Ek ladka, Raju office mein clerk tha. woh ladka apna hi dhun mein mast tha aur hamesa internet mein chating karte rahta tha. woh ladka ka office room boss ka office room ki thik bazu mein hi tha. to kabhi kuch pushna hota hai to boss office se hi awaz de kar pushta tha. ek din boss ne kuch baatein ishi tarah push rahe the ……..

Boss: “Raju payment wala file kidher hai?”

Raju: “aap ka table pe”

Boss: “Raju mail out going record register kaha hai?”

Raju: “aap ka table pe”

Boss: “Raju payment voucher file kidhar hai?”

Raju: “aap ka table pe”

Boss: “Raju ASSISTANT MANAGER kaha hai?”

Raju: “aap ka table pe !!!!!!!!!!!! !!……. ..”

kill you

If you care for me - I care for you
You miss me - I miss you
You like me - I like you.
You message me - I message you.
You forget me - I’m sorry that where I’m different from you.
I’ll kill you

kanjoos

Titanic K Sath Kanjoos Bhi Doob Raha Tha
Aur Hans Bhi Raha Tha
Dost:
Oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai?
Kanjoos:
Shukar Hai Main Ne Return Ticket Nahi Khareeda….

message jokes

Oooofff ! Kya aakhein hain,..
Ooooff kya aakhein hain, (wah !! Wah !!)
Oooff kya aakhein hain, kya zulfein hain..
(Zara Gaur Farmayiyega. ..)
Ooooff! Kya aakhein hain, kya zulfein hain..
Masha-allah kya soorat paayi hai.
Aisa lagta hai….
Aisa lagta hai jaise…….

PEEPAL KE PED SE BHOOTNI UTER AAYI HAI..

free hindi sms

1 ladke ki shadi nahi ho rahi thi,
Wo mannat mangne gaya.
Wahan uski Maa khai me ghir gayi,
Wo bola - “Ya Khuda teri Khudai Apni to mili nahi Bapu ki bhi gawayi”

text jokes

Gabbar: Ye haath mujhe de de thakur, ye haath mujhe de de!!!
Thakur: Le le kutte, magar do haath to pehle hi tere paas hai ab kya
’sherawali mata’ banega…

santa jokes

Santa to Jeeto: Kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul Gobar jaisa swad hai.
Jeeto, maatha peet te hue: Hey bhagwan! Na jane inhone kya-kya kha ke dekha hua hai

free text jokes

Apne roz humse nai umeed laga rakhi hai, apne dil me asha ki KIRAN jaga rakhi hai, hum roz kahan se naye msgs bhejen, hum ne kya sms ki factory laga rakhi hai.

MUNNA BHAI

MUNNA BHAI: Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?

CIRCUIT: Bhai, gaadi hai.

MUNNA BHAI: Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?

CIRCUIT: Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaad

unny hindi sms

"Kya hua jo usne racha lee mehandi, Hum bhi ab SEHRA sajayenge, Mujhe pata tha ki vo apne nasib me nahi, Ab uski choti behan ko fasayenge...

funny hindi sms

1st Child: Mere Papa Bahut Darpok Hain.
2nd Child: Why?
1st Child: Jab Bhi Road Cross Karte Hain, Meri Ungli Pakad Lete Hain aur kehte chhodna mat.

hindi sms

DUNIA me reh ke sapno me kho jao,
KISIKO apna banalo YA kisi ke ho jao,
AGAR kuch bhi nahi hota to DON'T WORRY yaar,
chaddar-takiya lo aur so jao.

hindi joke sms

Girl: if u will try 2 kiss me, mai shor macha dungi.
Boy:Lekin yaha to dur tak koi nahi hai.
Girl: i know but formality to karni hi padegi..

hindi jokes

Wife- i will die. Husband- i will also die. Wife- Why do you want 2 die? husband- bcoz main itni khushi bardasht nahi kar sakta:!

sardar ji

ek sradar excercise kar raha tha kisi shakhs ne kaha sardar ji changi body he sardar ji ne kaha abhi tu tune bhabi di body ne waikhe ,foe Sardar Atu

sms karna chor do

devdas kay baap nay kaha ghar chor do

maa nay kaha paroo ko chor do

paroo nay kaha daroo chor do

app ko kis nay kaha kay sms karna chor do

jokes hindi

Main ney jisey dil diya wo india chali gyi. Main ney jis sey piyar kia wo italy chali gyi. Dil ney kaha khudkooshi ker lo. Switch main hath diya BIJLI bhi chali gyi

free text jokes

kuch duble patle mere sarkar nazar ate hain

vitamin A or D ke kame k asar nazar ate hain

funny sms text

shaadi karne k bad aur mobile lene k bad

ek hi baat ka afsos hota hai

Thodi der ruk jaata to accha model mil jaata

100%stupid

UR 100%beautiful, UR 100%lovely, UR 100%sweet, UR 100%nice and UR 100%stupid to believe these words!

monkey

Clouds r white but the sky is blue,monkey like u should b kept in the zoo, dont get angry ull find me there too,not in the cage but laughing at u. ha! ha! ha

maa aur wife

Maa apnay Betay ko aasman say zameen per laati hay or Wife ussi Betay
ko zameen say zair-e-zameen pohancha daite hay.

Abbreviation of Wife:

Abbreviation of Wife:
Men Say: Without Information Fight Everyday.
Women Say: With Idion ForEver

hindi jokes

Tum hoti to aisa hota, tum hoti to waisa hota
Tum is baat pe itna hasti, tum uss baat pe itna khush hoti,
Tum is baat pe ye kehti,tum uss baat pe wo kahati
shukar hai tum nahi ho!!!

funny hindi sms

Tere pyaar ki roshni aisi hai ki
har taraf ujaala nazar aata hai
sochta hu ki ghar ki bijli katwa du
kambaqt bill bohat aata ha

free hindi sms

Kya aankheiN hain aapki, kya baatein hain aapki..
us khuda ne kuch aisa aapko bnaya hai...
maano..."Shhhsss...KOI Hai" se bhoot nikal aaya hai....

hindi jokes

Aap kya jaano hum kitna yaad karte hain
maano ya na maano har pal fariyaad karte hain
Roz khat likhte hain CARTOON NETWORK ko
aur aapko play karne ki maang karte hain....
waaaaahhhhhhhhh..

hindi messages

Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aur humare dil se awaaz nikalii....
Fiteh Mooh...Tusin Ethe vii aa gaye !!!

text messages

Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain
Yeh to unke bache hee kamine hain,
Jo Mammu-Mammu bulaate hain.
Apni Surat ka kabhi to didaar de
tarap raha hu ab aur na intzaar de
Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna
Kam se kam 1 Missed call hee maar de

ABBA JAAN

Jaate hue kuch aisa kar ke jayo kaam
ki har galli se awaaz aaye..."ABBA JAAN"..." ABBA JAAN"

sms jokes

Hi Musharraf needs 500 donkeys to attack on India. 499 ja chuke, message milte hi niklo...

free hindi sms

Safed rang ho agar mehboob ka ,
toh mohabbat ki detergent khusbudar nazar aati hai,
na koi aur hota kharid-dar SURF-EXCEL KA,
aur na dhulai RIN-SUPREME ki kam nazar aati hai...!!!

funny messages

itnay kamzor hogaye teri judaii se
waah wah !!!!
arz kia ha
itnay kamzor hogaye teri judaii se
k machar hi utha le gaya charpaii se

hindi sms jokes

Jab i ne U se pyaar kiya
to night ko sleeping chor diya
tere face ki gentle beauty ne
mere kind heart ko phor diya

hindi sms

Shaam hote hii ye Dil udaas hota hai
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..

jokes

Promise me we are true friends
I am lamp you are light
I am Coke you are Sprite
I am Sawan you are badal
I am Normal you are Pagal
I am Water you are Tanki
I am Tarzan you are Monkey

intzaar

Har des ki ek sarhadd hoti hai
bache ki bhi ek zidd hote hai
aur kitna intzaar karru tere sms ka
Kanjosi ki bhi koi hadd hoti hai

funny message

Arz kiya hai.....
Aaj-kal aapke SMS aana band hai
wah wah! wah wah!
Aaj-kal aapke SMS aana band hai
khafa ho humse ya balance kam hai?
ha ha ha ha.....

funny hindi sms jokes

Umeedo ki manzil toot gayi
aankho se ashqo ki dhara beh gayi
are tumahri bhi kya izaat reh gayi
jab class ki ladki bhaiya keh gayi

free text jokes

Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya
Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya
Ki Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya

funny hindi jokes

Jis mehfil mein hum khade ho jaaye
waha Haritik bhi jhukta hai
Kaho Na Pyaar Hai
Kya mooh dukhta hai

TUSI bade hi great ho

TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,
RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
SMS KARNE ME bare le8 ho,
JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,
KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho...!

fun joke

Teri aankain jhuki jhuki
tera chehra khila khila
jab tere chehre per haath ghumaya
to aadha kilo fair & lovely mila

funny hindi sms

Bekabu hai dil fir bhi jiya ja raha hu,
Khali hao botal fir bhi piya ja raha hu,
Majburi to dekho is dil ki.
Reply nahi mil raha fir bhi msg kiya ja raha hu

free text jokes

If U delete this message thats bcoz u love me.
If u save it thats bcoz u desire me
& if u ignore it thats bcoz u miss me.
So what u gonna do with It?

free text jokes

You are like the sunshine so warm,
you are like sugar, so sweet...
you are like you...
and that's the reason why I love you!

free text jokes

Kaun sa gham hai jo yeh haal bana rakha hai
na to makeup hai, na baalon ko sajaa rakha hai
aur khama-kha cherti rehti hai yeh rukhsaaron ko
Tum ne zulfon ko bohut sar pe chara rakha hai

sms jokes

Zindagi jaise ek saza si ho gayi hai,
gamm ke saagar me is kadar kho gayi hai,
tum kar do ek SMS yeh guzarish hai meri,
tumari SMS ki adat si ho gayi hai.

funny jokes text

Lady Shouted At Midnight “SARDAR G” jaldi Utto BILLI Sara Doodh Pee
Gahi hai “SARDAR” Replied angerly “ULLO KEE PATI ” Kitnee Bar
Samjahya Hai KAMEEZ Pa Ka soya Kar…

funny sms text message

Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:” Why are you writing so slowly?
Sardar: “I’m writing to my 6 yr old son, he can’t read very fast.

funny sms jokes

Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is
what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that’s a mirror

funny hindi sms

Sardar proposed to a Girl……Girl said ‘I’m 1 year older to
you’………..
Sardar said ‘Oye no problem Soniye, I’ll marry you NEXT YEAR.

hindi jokes

Postman:- I had to come 5 miles to deliver you this packet
Sardar:- why did you come so far. Instead you could have posted
it….

funny text messages

Sardar wins Rs. 20 crore from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave Rs.
11 crore after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: “Give me Rs. 20 crore or else return my 20 Rs. back.!

fun sms

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What
came first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever you order first will come first.

funny sms message

Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It”s already raining.
Sardar: So what? take an umbrella and go.

funny message

One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. you
know Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking…

hindi jokes

Sardar gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on
the branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Sardar:”I’ve been
promoted as branch manager.”

funny hindi sms

Teacher: “I killed a person” convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is “you will go to jail”.

funny hindi sms

Sardar-why are all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why are others running?

funny jokes hindi

A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 second a
woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.

funny hindi sms

Haseeno ka kafila masjid ki aur ja raha tha, hamne bula liya.
Hum toh barbad ho chuke the sanam khuda ko barbad hone se bacha
liya.

free text jokes

PRINCIPAL :Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI :Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu?

funny hindi sms

An old rich man marries a young gal.
Interviewer asks the girl: Apne inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha?
Girl: Ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kum

funny sms joke

Santa - Why has the
Govt. fixed Voting Age
as 18 years and
Marriage Age as 21 years.? Banta - Govt. ko pata hai
ki Desh sambhalna
Aasan hai, lekin Biwi
ko Nahi

funny hindi sms

Amiri ke khwab Dekhne laga,
Angreji Sharab Chakhane laga,
Baap ne kabhi Pager nahi dekha,
aur beta Mobile rakhne laga!!!

funny sms joke

Tum paas hot to tujhpe pyar aata hai,
Tum door ho to tera intezaar satata hai.
Kya kahe is dil ki haalat ki,
Tujhe yaad kar karke hume bukhaar ho jaata hai.

message jokes

Dil k dard ko zuba par laate nahi,
hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi,
Zakhm chahe kitne hi gahre kyo na ho,
hum DETTOL k siva kuch laagate nahi

funny hindi sms

Arz hai unki galiyon ke chakkar kaat kaatte
kutte hamare yaar ho gaye,
wo to hamare na ho sake par hum
kutton ke sardar ho gaye…

funny hindi jokes

Gadha jo khaye wo Ghas ho tum,
Buddhe ka Chyawanprash ho tum,
Idiot stupid bakwas ho tum,
Par jo bhi ho yar, Dost Jhakaas ho tum…

hindi joke sms

Shadi karna tha par kismat khuli nahi,
TAJMAHAL Bana tha par MUMTAZ mili nahi,
Ab kismat khuli, Shadi hue,
ab TAZ banana chahta hu,
par ye MUMTAZ marti nahi!

hindi jokes

SOORAJ HUA MADHAM CHAND CHALNE LAGA,
MAIN THEHRA RAHA ZAMEEN CHALNE LAGI,
SAJNA KIYA YEH PYAR HAI ???
NALAYAK!
YEH PYAR NAHIN EARTH QUAKE HAI!
BHAAGOOO……… !.

free text jokes

Boy:Tum mujh se shadi kro gi?
Girl:NahiBoy: Laikin Q?
Girl:Meray ghar walay nhi manain gay
Boy:Ghar main kon kon hay?
Girl:1 Husband aor 3 bachay.

funny joke sms

Husband apni wife ka janaza le jaa raha tha.
Janaze k aage ek kutta aur peche aadmiyon ki lambi line thi,

Ek aadmi aakar pochta hai : bhai sahab ye sab kaise hua?
Husband : is kutte ne kaat liya tha.

Aadmi : ye kutta ek din k liye udhar main de do.
Husband : peche line main lago. :p

funny joke sms

Ek ladke ko kya chahiye?

Ek ladki jo pyar de,
Ek ladki jo acha khana banaye,
Ek ladki jo us ki khob khidmat kare,

Aur ye teeno larkiyan mil jul kar rahain. :p

business joke

Company ka Employee
Toilet gaya.
Andhar ja kar
seat pe betha.
Saamne Deewar pe likha thaa

“ABEY ITNA ZOR BUSINESS
PE DETA TOH TARGET PURA HO JAATA !”

santa- banta

Santa bar vich ro reha si. Bartender: Kyon ro rahe ho?
Santa: Hor ki karan? Main jis kudi da naam bhulna chahunda si usda naam yaad hi nahin aa reha.

exam jokes

Parh likh kar kya karna hai,
Akhir Ek din sabko marna hai,
Mar kar bhi agar janam liya,
to fir sala nursery se hi to parhna hai !

funny messages

Main Bewakoof Hoon!
Main Bewakoof Hoon!
Are Aahista Bolo Yahan Tak Awaz Aa Rahi Hai,
I Know U R Bewakoof,
Chillane Ki Kya Zaroorat Hai???

funny joke sms

Har Sawal Se Dat Kar Ladna,
Fekne Me Kami Mat Karna,
Mouka Mila To Peche Bhi Dekhna,
Aur Ek Baath Yaad Rakhna,
Aage Wala Ka Paper Apna Samajhna

funny text messages

Pyar karnevale PARESAN ho jate he
Shadi karnevale SHARABI ho jate he,
Divorce denevale DEVDAS ho jate he,
Ham se Dosti karnevale MSG SE MEHARBAN ho jate he.

funny sms joke,

Hum ne jindagi ki shuruaat ’s’ se ki.
S se SURAJ
S se SUBAH
S se SWAGAT
S se SAAZ
S se SANGIT
Par fir ’s’ se SAMAY ne aeisi karvat badli ki ’s’ se hamari SHAADI ho gai.
Aur fir jivan ka arth ’s’ se SAANS,SASURAL, SALA ,SALI, SASUR aur ‘SANKAT’ ho gaya

funny message,

Duniya mein bewafaon ki kami nahin hai.
Ab suraj ko hi dekho lo aata hai USHA ke saath,
Rehta hai KIRAN ke saath
Aur jaata hai SANDHYA ke saath.

funny sms joke

Devdas ko babu ji ne kaha ghar chod do,
Maa ne kaha paro chod do ,
Paro ne kaha sharab chod do,
Par TUMSE kis ullu ne kaha sms karna chod do…

funny text

Titanic K Sath Kanjoos Bhi Doob Raha Tha
Aur Hans Bhi Raha Tha
Dost:
Oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai?
Kanjoos:
Shukar Hai Main Ne Return Ticket Nahi Khareeda….

sms jokes

Kanjoos to dukandar: Yaar zara toothbrush dena mere brush ka 1 baal toot gaya hai
Dukandar: 1 baal toota to naya q lerahe ho
Kanjoos: jo toota hai woh akhri tha…

jokes,funny

CIRCUIT
Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai.
Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.

MUNNA BHAI
Aye Circuit, woh Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.

CIRCUIT
Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.

MUNNA BHAI
Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.

CIRCUIT
Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.

funny hindi sms

PROFESSOR
Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jantey ho?

MUNNA BHAI
Gandhi bahut jabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam, par apun ko yeh nehin malum ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai

shayari

Har ayne ki kismat main tasvir nahi hoti,
Har kisi ki ek jaisi taqdir nahi hoti,
Aur bhi hai hum jaise badnasib duniya mein,
Jinke hatho mein mohabbat ki lakir nahi hoti!

pyaar he pyaar

Pyaar ke jaam ko aise na piya,
Ki aadha piya aur adha chhod diya,
Yaaron ye pyaar hai pyaar,
Nahi koi VIM BAR,
Jo thoda sa lagaya aur bas ho gaya.

shayri hindi

Aapko bhool jau umar guzarne ki baat hai,
Aap ko naa ho yakin yeh aur baat hai,
Jab tak rahegi saas tab tak rahonge yaad,
Yeh saas tut jaaye to aur baat hai…

free hindi sms

Child: Mom is bar saray patakhay hum is shop say lain gay,
Mom: Beta yeh tu girls hostel hai,
Child: Papa tu kahtay hain k sari phuljhariyan yahin rahti hain.

funny hindi sms

Boy asks: Tute hue dil se pyar karogi, ya dil tutne tak pyar karogi.
Girl replies: Tute hue sandal se pitoge ya sandal ke tutne tk pitoge..

hindi jokes,

Kisi VAKEEL s pyar mat karna vo kahega"I OBJECT" Kisi DOCTOR S pyar mat karna vo kahega "NEXT" Pyar karna TEACHER Se kahega"DO IT 5 Times"

funny sms message,

3 boys where going on a motor cycle. policeman gives hand to stop sardar shouted oye pehle hi teen bhete hai tu kaha bethega...!

free text jokes

Jab Gabbar paida hua tab uski maa ne use 2-3 thappad lagaye
Father-kya hua?
Kambakht peda hote hi puch raha tha kitne admi the?

funny jokes

Boy: mom, aaj mera dost ghar AA raha hai....
ghar ke sab khilone chhupa de.
Mom: tera dost chor hai kya?
Boy: nahin, who apne khilone pahechan lega.

funny sms joke

Ques...Bharat ka sabse bada pralay ka din kaun sa hoga.?
Ans...Jis din rakhi ---*---
aur friendship day ---!!---
ek saath padega

decent jokes

Teacher: Sach or Veham mai kiya farq hai ?
Student: Aap jo hamain parha rahi hain wo sach hai, laykin hum sab parh rahay hain ye aapka veham hai........

jokes hindi

Mehmood2 - ayyo dyevi . tum kitna khoobsoorat msg chchodta ji.. Aum yakdam
pagal O jata ji, Aiyo Wanga, Ider Aana, ayyo BinduSSS

funny text messages

Mehmood - Kya bula tu. Mereku kya bola tu. Seedhi tarah se message
rakhaneko bola ... Aur tum muh pe kuphal daal kai baithta kya

funny message

KESTO - Ihhhiyaa ! saale message Chhod ! nahi to Batli de !! Ihhhiyaa!
Jaldi kar HICH ! Apun ko janeka hai Ihhhiyaa ! ! hick! aay . hick! ye
ansering hick! machine hick! msg ..

funny hindi jokes

Prem chopra - hum woh hain jo shishe ko patthar se katate hain.... aaapke
msg ki iit ka jawab patthar se denge.... BTW: Mera Naam hai Pre'm, He he
Pre'm Chopra

funny text messages

Pran - PATHAN ki ansering m/c.... HUM tereku bola msg chod de warna hum
pathan ka baccha tumara tangdi tod dega

jokes hindi

Amitabh - Han han mein chor hun, mein bazar mein kaladhandha karta hun,
police ke record mein mera naam hai. Lekin mein akela nahin hun. Jao pahle
us admi ko msg de kar aao jisne mera baap ko chor kaha tha; Jao pahle us
admi ko msg de kar aao jisne meri maa ko gali deke naukri se nikal diya
tha; jao pahle us aadmi ko msg de kar aao jisne mere haath me yeh likh
diya tha; Uske BAAD, Uske baad mere bhai tum jab chahoge tab mere m/c
mein msg de dena

funny sms text

Jo tumko ho pasand wohi baat kahenge,
Tum din ko agar raat kaho to raat kahenge,
Kyunki… Kyunki… Paaglo se bahas nahi ki ja sakti…

free text jokes,

PRACTICE AT UR HOME
1.Take one grape
2.Take it in ur hand
3.Put it in btvn ur fore teeth
4.Approach the mirror slowly & see.
Wah! Langoor ke muh mein angoor..

funny sms joke

Gabbar - soovar ke bachcho . main ghar mein nahi hu. ab tera kya hoga re
kalia? raat ko jab tej tej phone ki ghanti bajti hai to maa kehti hai msg
chchod beta varna gabbar nahi sunega ... Yaad rahe Yaha se 50 50 mil ki
doori par jab koi baccha rota hai to maa kahati hai "beta so ja nahi to
gabbar singh ka voice mail Bolega...."

funny sms

Basanti -yun ki hume jaada bukbuk karne ki aadat to hai nahi . agar mere
liye msg hai to 1 dabana. agar mausi ke liye hai to 2 dabana . agar veeru
ke liye hai to dono dabana . yun ki hume lamba msg rakhne ki aadat to hai
nahi... agar mere liye msg hai...to 1 dabana......

funny sms

Dharmendra - Kutte Kaminey, Agar tuune apni maa ka doodh piya hai to
message chodde, warana mein tujhe jinda nahin chodunga.

jokes,funny hindi sms

AJIT's voicemail - Sari duniya mujhe white LION ke naamse janti hai,
jabtak tum messages chhodoge hum bharat se bahut dur ja chuke honge,
robert helicopter chalu karo !!

funny sms joke

Har gali har deewar par tera hi tera naam hai,

Har gali har deewar par tera hi tera naam hai,

Upaar wanted niche dus lakh ka enaam hai.

funny jokes

Misses U…
Needs U…
Worries about U
Lonely without U
Guess who?
The monkey in
The ZOO …

friendship sms

Bewafa say kabhi pyaar nahin hota,
Marnay kay bad intizaar nahin hota,
Dosti karo to zara dakh kar karna,
Har koi hamari tarhan,
Cool, sweet and smart nahin hota.

funny message,

Modern…
Obedient…
Neatness…
Kindful…
Excellent…
Young…
Hey! thats me. Don’t be sad, even ur name is there,
Read the 1st letter of Every Word…

sms jokes

GALILEO : Great mind!
EINSTINE : Genius mind!
NEWTON : Extraordinary mind!
BILL GATES : Brilliant mind!
ME : Master mind!
YOU????never mind—-hehehehe

free hindi sms,

When I call you:
1 ring means : I am missing U,
2 ring means : I like U,
3 ring means : I am thinking of U,
4 ring means : I need U,
5 ring means : Idiot phone utha.

funny sms joke,

3 Monkeys ran from zoo.
1st found watching TV.
2nd found playing football
And 3rd…
-
-
-
-
-
-
No yaar, it’s not u…
Hamesa aisa hi kyu sochte ho? Wo mil nahi raha hai.

funny hindi sms

Last night i saw a dream,
I was walking with god and I told him that
I have a friend like u then he smiled & said:
Beta sab pichle janam ka paap hai.

funny sms message

Tumko dekh kar aisa lagta hai ki aadmi pehele bandar tha,
Dekho gussa mat hona warna lagega ki aadmi aaj bhi bandar hai.

sms jokes

My eyes detected
My heart reacted
Thousand were rejected &
Only you were selected.
Because I needed a monkey for an advertisement.

funny text messages,

A - U r attractive
B - U r d best
C - U r cute
D - U r dear 2 me
E - U r excellent to me
F - U r funny
G - U r good looking
H - He he he
I - I’m
J - just
K - kidding

free hindi sms,

Rose
Lotus
Tulip
Orchid
Sunflower
Jasmine
Lily
All flowers r sweet but they have no comparison with you.

Because gobi ke phool ki to baat hi koi aur hai!

jokes hindi

Kya Bindaas hava chal rahi hai, birdy gaana ga rahe hain,
Cow log grass eat rahe hain,
shayaane log SMS kar rahe hain
aur dhakkan log SMS padh rahe hain

funny love sms

Promise me we are true friends:
I am lamp you are light
I am coke you are sprite
I am sawan you are badal
I am normal you are pagal
I am water you are tanki
I am tarzan you are monkey…..Poooooh!!!

funny sms

A study has proved that,
All fools use their THUMB,
While reading a SMS.
Now its 2 late,
Dont try 2 change ur finger.
Catch another fool!

funny sms

Chalo sms khelte hain…
-
-
Pehle tum sms karo
-
-
Phir tum sms karo
-
-
Phir se tum sms karo
-
-
Ek baar phir tum sms karo
-
-
Bas ab kal khelain gey

free hindi sms

When I was sad
U were there,
When I was crying
U were there,
When I was unhappy
U were there,
Now I have understood ke beta saare fashad ki jarr tum hi ho

funny sms joke,

Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha
Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey

funny message,

Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai, aaj nahin aaya, kaha na kabhi kabhi aata hai

jokes hindi

Angry boss: Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai?
Executive (sar jhukate hue): Nahin sir.
Boss: Niche kya dekh rahe ho ? Meri taraf dekho

funny hindi sms

Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!

funny sms

Boy: Ki mein tera hath chum sakda han"
Girl: Kyon Haramjadeya mere bullan te koi kande lagge ne ?

funny hindi jokes

Sabziwala: Madam ye 500 ka note blouse se nikla hai
kya?
Madam: haan par apko kaise pata chala?
Sabziwala: Gandhi ji ka mu abhi bhi khula hua hai!

funny sms text

Kunwaro se log puchte hai ki tumhari ab tak shaadi kyon nahi huye?
Kunware bhi jor se kahte hai: Jaako rakhe sayeean mar sake na koi

funny sms joke

Yamraj ne ek ladke ki jaan le li. Chitragupt- Is ko waqt se pehle kyon mara?
Yumraj: Kya karun, March end mein target jo pura karna tha.

sms joke

Ladka bola : Dilruba
Ladki boli : Pizza khila
Ladka bola : Paise Nahi
Ladki boli : Kaise nahi
Ladka bola : Mehangayi hai
Ladki boli : To fir Aaj se tu mera bhai ha

funny hindi jokes,

achhe kapde pehente ho..
aur pure style rakhte ho..
dil me gussa aur face pe
smil rakhte ho..
Naak pochhna aata nahi
aur hath me mobail rakhte ho...

funny text messages

Beta: Papa apki shaadi ho gayi?
Papa: Haan.
Beta: Kis se hui?
Papa: Bewkum teri mummy se..
Beta: Wah papa ghar me hi setting kar li.

funny sms messages

Boy 2 girl - kya tum mere sath dance karogi.
Girl reply - me bacche ke sath dance nahi karti.
Boy - Sorry mujhe pata nahi tha ki tum pregnent ho.|

funny sms joke

Pathar se dosti, Jan ko khatra.Pathan se dosti, Demagh ko khatra. Daru say dosti,LIver ko khatra.Hum say dosti, rat be rat SMS ka khatra!!

funny sms joke,

log kahte hai khuda ne tumhe fursat se banaya hoga,,,thik hi kahte hai altu- faltu kam fursat me hi hote hai.

funny sms messages

A B C D E F G H I . . . . . . . . . . . U V W X Y Z.. Dekha I aur U ke beech mein jo bhee aaya sabko tapka diya..

love sms

Aap jaisa DOST hame kuch khas lagte hai, maam mein har waqt hum ek aas rakhte hain, jaane kab aajaye SMS aapka, isliye MOBILE ko hamesha DIL ke paas rakhte hain

funny hindi jokes

Are o friendwa, tohar smswa ka intejar ma hum mubilewa hath me liye 1 ghantae se baitha hun.Tanik idhar bhi dhayan dai diyo our ekad msgwa bhijwai do..Tohara Dost..

text messages

Kitna bhi chaho na bhol paoge
Kitna bhi chaho na bhol paoge
Hum se jitna dur jao nazdik pao ge
Humein mita sakte ho to mita do
yaadein meri, magar..
kya sapno se juda kar pao ge humein

sms joke

jani wo pyar hi kya jisme JUDAI na ho, wo ishq hi kya jis me LADAI na ho, wo dil hi kya jisme DARD na ho, aur wo MOBILE hi kya jisme aap ka SMS na ho.

jokes sms

Aik Munder main buri neeyat wale gaeb ho jate they.Amitab gya wog gayab, Hirithik gya woh gayab,Akshey gya woh gayab, Ashwarya gai Bhagwan gayab

jokes hindi

Are o friendwa, tohar smswa ka intejar ma hum mubilewa hath me liye 1 ghantae se baitha hun.Tanik idhar bhi dhayan dai diyo our ekad msgwa bhijwai do..Tohara Dost..