ek bar ek ladke ne girls hostel me phone kiya aur puchha ki neha hai kya?
barden kaha yahan teen neha hain tumhari neha aage kya lagati hai
ladke ne kaha pahele to wishper lagati thi ab ka pata nahi
Sunday, January 17, 2010
इन्डियन
एकबार विभिन्न देशके मन्त्रीयों के जमघटमे हुवा वातचित
अमेरिकन् : हमारि देशकि जन्तातो चन्द्रमामे भि ल्यैन्ड होगये ।
रसियन् : हमारि जन्ताभि मंगल ग्रहमे पुगचुके हे ।
इन्डियन : हमारि देशका वैग्यानिक भि सुर्यमे अन्तिक्ष ल्यैयान्ड करने जारहि हे ।
अमेरिकन् : लेकिन् वो तो असम्भव हे ।
इन्डियन : क्युं ?
रसियन : क्युंकी सुर्य बहुत गर्म हे ।
इन्डियन : उस्का भि सोलुसन हे हमारा पास हम रातमे ल्यान्ड करिङ्गे ।
अमेरिकन् : हमारि देशकि जन्तातो चन्द्रमामे भि ल्यैन्ड होगये ।
रसियन् : हमारि जन्ताभि मंगल ग्रहमे पुगचुके हे ।
इन्डियन : हमारि देशका वैग्यानिक भि सुर्यमे अन्तिक्ष ल्यैयान्ड करने जारहि हे ।
अमेरिकन् : लेकिन् वो तो असम्भव हे ।
इन्डियन : क्युं ?
रसियन : क्युंकी सुर्य बहुत गर्म हे ।
इन्डियन : उस्का भि सोलुसन हे हमारा पास हम रातमे ल्यान्ड करिङ्गे ।
kurban
khusi ke liya sitab kurban
hassi ke liya asnsoo kurban
dost ke liye jaan bhi kurban
aaur
agar dost ki gf gile
to sala dost bhi kurban
hassi ke liya asnsoo kurban
dost ke liye jaan bhi kurban
aaur
agar dost ki gf gile
to sala dost bhi kurban
प्रपोज
लडकी:जानु मुझे शादीके लिए एसे प्रपोज कसना जो किसीने ना किया हो
लडका:कमिनी जलिल तो आई लब यु ,मुझसे शादी कर और मेरे जिबन तबाह कर दे नर्क बना दे कम्बक्त
लडका:कमिनी जलिल तो आई लब यु ,मुझसे शादी कर और मेरे जिबन तबाह कर दे नर्क बना दे कम्बक्त
लडका
प्रोफेसर:तुम क्लासमे देर से आई हो
लडकी:सर मेरे पिछे एक लडका लग गया
प्रोफेसर:तो तुम लेट कैसे हुई?
लडकी:वो लडका बहुत धिरे चल रहा था ना ईसी लिए
लडकी:सर मेरे पिछे एक लडका लग गया
प्रोफेसर:तो तुम लेट कैसे हुई?
लडकी:वो लडका बहुत धिरे चल रहा था ना ईसी लिए
बेहनोई
कलेजके पहेले दिन
लडका:तुम्हारा नाम क्या हे
लडकी:मुझे सब बहन कहेते हे
लडका: और मुझे सब बेहनोई केहेते हे
लडका:तुम्हारा नाम क्या हे
लडकी:मुझे सब बहन कहेते हे
लडका: और मुझे सब बेहनोई केहेते हे
Sardar sent SMS
Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, your wife is very sweet”
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, your wife is very sweet”
NURSE
NURSE kept SARDAR’S FINGER in HER MOUTH
after BLOOD TEST.
SARDAR STARTED DANCING .
NURSE: you are DANCING.?
SARDAR: next is URINE TEST
after BLOOD TEST.
SARDAR STARTED DANCING .
NURSE: you are DANCING.?
SARDAR: next is URINE TEST
A beautiful girl
A beautiful girl goes to Professor cabin
and
say
that i will do anything to pass in the exams
and professor says
NOW OPEN YOUR b****
and
say
that i will do anything to pass in the exams
and professor says
NOW OPEN YOUR b****
Saturday, January 16, 2010
A boy
A boy watches his mum and dad having s*x he ask, "What are you doing ?"
His dad replies, "Making you a brother or sister!"
Boy say, "Do her doggy style I want a puppy.
His dad replies, "Making you a brother or sister!"
Boy say, "Do her doggy style I want a puppy.
husband and wife
Husband always insisted on making love in the dark.
After 20 years wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator.
She goes balistic, "You impotent bas*ard! How could you lie to me all these years?"
Husband looks her straight in the eyes & calmly says, "I'll explain the toy, you explain the kids....."
After 20 years wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator.
She goes balistic, "You impotent bas*ard! How could you lie to me all these years?"
Husband looks her straight in the eyes & calmly says, "I'll explain the toy, you explain the kids....."
difference between boys & girls
Rina: what is the difference between boys & girls? Seema-
Boys are naughty, we are beauty, they’ve chest, we are breast. Rina-
They’ve night falls, we’ve 2 big balls,they’ve a big pole,we’ve a big hole.
Seema : They can fuck’ we can suck. They are brilliant’ we are pregnant
and at last we are “LOVERS” They R “FUCKERS”
Boys are naughty, we are beauty, they’ve chest, we are breast. Rina-
They’ve night falls, we’ve 2 big balls,they’ve a big pole,we’ve a big hole.
Seema : They can fuck’ we can suck. They are brilliant’ we are pregnant
and at last we are “LOVERS” They R “FUCKERS”
अमीर लड़की
एक अमीर लड़की को School में गरीब परिवार पे Essay लिखने को कहा गया.
ESSAY :
एक गरीब परीवार था, पीता गरीब, माँ गरीब, बच्चे गरीब.
परीवार में 4 नौकर थे, वोह भी गरीब.
SCORPIO Car भी टूटी हुई थी.
उनका गरीब driver बच्चों को उसी टूटी Car में School छोड़ के आता था.
बच्चों के पास पुराने N95 Mobile था.
बच्चे हफ्ते में सीर्फ 3 बार ही HOTEL में खाते थे.
घर में केवल चार 2nd Hand A.C. थे.
सारा परीवार बड़ी मुश्कील से ऐश कर रहा था
ESSAY :
एक गरीब परीवार था, पीता गरीब, माँ गरीब, बच्चे गरीब.
परीवार में 4 नौकर थे, वोह भी गरीब.
SCORPIO Car भी टूटी हुई थी.
उनका गरीब driver बच्चों को उसी टूटी Car में School छोड़ के आता था.
बच्चों के पास पुराने N95 Mobile था.
बच्चे हफ्ते में सीर्फ 3 बार ही HOTEL में खाते थे.
घर में केवल चार 2nd Hand A.C. थे.
सारा परीवार बड़ी मुश्कील से ऐश कर रहा था
A baniya
A baniya do sex alternate days. His friend asks why not you do regularly.
Baniya Replies : Ke karen, ek din to condom sukhane me bhi lag jaave hai!
Baniya Replies : Ke karen, ek din to condom sukhane me bhi lag jaave hai!
shaadi
ek ladki ki shaadi tai ho jati hai to uskeliye Dahej ka saman aata hai to wo double bed par baar baar letkar(kabhi lambai main kabhi chaurai main) dekhti hai
Beti : papa ye bistar to chhota hai
baap : nahi beti ye bistar ekdum theek hai
Beti : ye dekkho papa letne ke baad to ismein paon bhi seedhe nahi hote
Baap (tang hoker) : beti shaadi ke baad teri tangen seeedhi kaun hone dega
Beti : papa ye bistar to chhota hai
baap : nahi beti ye bistar ekdum theek hai
Beti : ye dekkho papa letne ke baad to ismein paon bhi seedhe nahi hote
Baap (tang hoker) : beti shaadi ke baad teri tangen seeedhi kaun hone dega
Wife
Husband: Darling good night
Wife: Aise kaise good night?
Pehle band kar light,
phir lun.d kar tight,
dubake kar fight,
jab nikal jaye ******,
then I feel right,
phir good night!
Wife: Aise kaise good night?
Pehle band kar light,
phir lun.d kar tight,
dubake kar fight,
jab nikal jaye ******,
then I feel right,
phir good night!
aitbaar
L*nd pe aitbaar kisko hai....
Mil jaye ch*dne ko to inkaar kisko hai....
Kuchh mushkilen hain nayi ch**t paane mein ai dost ....
Warna purani ch**t se pyaar kisko hai
Mil jaye ch*dne ko to inkaar kisko hai....
Kuchh mushkilen hain nayi ch**t paane mein ai dost ....
Warna purani ch**t se pyaar kisko hai
Doctor
Lady : Baccha nahin hone ke liye koi dawai di jiye na doctor sahab
Doctor: ye lo condom
Lady: Ise "Dudh" ke sath lu ya "Pani" ke sath?
Doctor: ise "Kele" ke sath lena. samjha
Doctor: ye lo condom
Lady: Ise "Dudh" ke sath lu ya "Pani" ke sath?
Doctor: ise "Kele" ke sath lena. samjha
In a party
In a party a lady wanted
to go to toilet so
she inquired with a sardar
papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,
sardarji replied you naughty
pehle tum dikhao
to go to toilet so
she inquired with a sardar
papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,
sardarji replied you naughty
pehle tum dikhao
ad
Fair & lovely ke ad mai face dikhaya
Ponds ke ad mai hath dikhaya
Pentene ke ad mai baal dikhaye
Phir stayfree ke ad mai cheating kyun?
Ponds ke ad mai hath dikhaya
Pentene ke ad mai baal dikhaye
Phir stayfree ke ad mai cheating kyun?
2 men went to a girl
2 men went to a girl.
1st went in and came out and said
“Na my wife is better.”
2nd went in and came out and said
“U R right ur wife is much better.”
1st went in and came out and said
“Na my wife is better.”
2nd went in and came out and said
“U R right ur wife is much better.”
Doctor
Krish: Doctor ne mujhe kaha tha ki woh do hapte mein mujhe pairo par khada kar dega!
Jack: Accha kya who aisa kar paya?
Krish: Ha uska bill chukane ke liye mujhe apni car jo bechni padi
Jack: Accha kya who aisa kar paya?
Krish: Ha uska bill chukane ke liye mujhe apni car jo bechni padi
Beta papa se
Beta papa se: Papa main itna bada kab ho jaunga ki mummy se bina poochey ghar se bahar ja sakoo.
Papa thandi saans lete hue: Beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon
Papa thandi saans lete hue: Beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon
impossible
Nepolian ek Sardarji ko bade garv se kehata hai : Mere dictionary mein impossible word hi nahi hai.
Sardarji bolata hai : To pahele hi acchi tarah se dekh lene ka na sab word hai ke nahi, aage se word rahenge wohi dictionary le
Sardarji bolata hai : To pahele hi acchi tarah se dekh lene ka na sab word hai ke nahi, aage se word rahenge wohi dictionary le
Sardar talking on cell
Sardar talking on cell.
2nd Sardar : Kis se baat kar raho ho.
1st Sardar : Biwi se…
2nd Sardar : Itne… Pyaar se?
1st Sardar : Tumhari hai
2nd Sardar : Kis se baat kar raho ho.
1st Sardar : Biwi se…
2nd Sardar : Itne… Pyaar se?
1st Sardar : Tumhari hai
Ek pathan
Ek pathan Cycle chalate aur gungunate howe kahin ja raha tha rastae mein ek aurat se takra betha.
Aurat chilla kar boli, “Break nahi maar sakte they kya ???”
Pathan herat se… “Pora cycle mar deya abhi break mar kar kia faida.
Aurat chilla kar boli, “Break nahi maar sakte they kya ???”
Pathan herat se… “Pora cycle mar deya abhi break mar kar kia faida.
A Sardarji
A Sardarji went to toilet ten times within half-an-hour.
Somebody asked,“Sardarji aapko chain nahin hai kya?”
Sardar : Hai to sahi, par khul nahin rah
Somebody asked,“Sardarji aapko chain nahin hai kya?”
Sardar : Hai to sahi, par khul nahin rah
Friday, January 15, 2010
Mohan & Sohan
Mohan & Sohan were sitting in a kabristan & were talking.
Mohan: Sohan, dekho yeh murde kitne aaraam se apni kabron mein sote hai.
Sare murde uth khare hue aur bole: Kyun na soye, yeh jaga apni jaan de ke hasil kee hai..!
Mohan: Sohan, dekho yeh murde kitne aaraam se apni kabron mein sote hai.
Sare murde uth khare hue aur bole: Kyun na soye, yeh jaga apni jaan de ke hasil kee hai..!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Train mein
Train mein TT Sadhu se bola : Kahan jana hai?
Sadhu : Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha.
TT : Ticket hai?
Sadhu : Nahin
TT : Chalo
Sadhu : Kahan?
TT : Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein
Sadhu : Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha.
TT : Ticket hai?
Sadhu : Nahin
TT : Chalo
Sadhu : Kahan?
TT : Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye thay
Wife: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye thay.
Husband: Kya bataoon, sab galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost… 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.
Husband: Kya bataoon, sab galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost… 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.
Saali
**WARNING**
THIS IS NOT TRUE IN CASE OF EVERY SAALI. AND DO NOT TAKE THIS PERSONALLY!!
Saali is Beauty, Wife is Duty
Saali is Pension, Wife is Tension
Saali is Yummy, Wife is Vehmi
Saali is Pataka, Wife is BATAKA
Saali is Cool, Wife is Fool
Saali is Tooti - Fruity, Wife is Kismat Futi
Saali is Fresh cake , Wife is earth QUAKE
*Ek Dukhi Paati.*
THIS IS NOT TRUE IN CASE OF EVERY SAALI. AND DO NOT TAKE THIS PERSONALLY!!
Saali is Beauty, Wife is Duty
Saali is Pension, Wife is Tension
Saali is Yummy, Wife is Vehmi
Saali is Pataka, Wife is BATAKA
Saali is Cool, Wife is Fool
Saali is Tooti - Fruity, Wife is Kismat Futi
Saali is Fresh cake , Wife is earth QUAKE
*Ek Dukhi Paati.*
door ki nazar
Bania’s son: Daddy meri door ki nazar kharab hai SPECKS banwa do.
Kanjoos Bania took him outside & said: Woh dekh kya hai?
Son: Suraj
Kanjoos Bania: Abbe ullu ke patthe, aur kitni dur tak dekhna chahe hai tu
Kanjoos Bania took him outside & said: Woh dekh kya hai?
Son: Suraj
Kanjoos Bania: Abbe ullu ke patthe, aur kitni dur tak dekhna chahe hai tu
loan
Teacher: Tumhare papa 500 rupees loan lete hai. 10% interest ke hisab se woh 1 saal baad loan vapis karte hai. Batao kitne paise vapis karenge?
Bania’s son: Kuch bhi nahi.
Teacher: Tum maths nahi jante.
Banis’s son: Main toh maths janta hoon, par aap mere papa ko nahi jante
Bania’s son: Kuch bhi nahi.
Teacher: Tum maths nahi jante.
Banis’s son: Main toh maths janta hoon, par aap mere papa ko nahi jante
Sunday, January 10, 2010
adult jokes
A man while making love to his maid,
exclaimed Hey, you are sweeter than my wife’
The maid smiled and said
‘i know ‘cos the driver always tells me so
exclaimed Hey, you are sweeter than my wife’
The maid smiled and said
‘i know ‘cos the driver always tells me so
BABA RAMDEV
BABA RAMDEV; BETA HAMESHA APNE SE BADI KO MAA, CHOTI KO BETI OR BARABAR WALI KO BEHAN SAMJHO.
SARDAR; BABA FIR YE LUND TUSI RAKH LO JADI BUTI KUTNE K KAAM AAEGA
SARDAR; BABA FIR YE LUND TUSI RAKH LO JADI BUTI KUTNE K KAAM AAEGA
Friday, January 8, 2010
aisa chaukidaar chahiye jo sehatmand ho
Officer: Dekho, humme aisa chaukidaar chahiye jo sehatmand ho, chust, chalak aur chaukanna ho, jarurat parne par jisse hum daat bhi saake…
Yadi tumhare andar yeh saare guun shamil hai to tumhe yeh naukri mil sakti hai.
Umeedwaar : Saheb yeh saare gun meri biwi mein hai, usse bulau?
Yadi tumhare andar yeh saare guun shamil hai to tumhe yeh naukri mil sakti hai.
Umeedwaar : Saheb yeh saare gun meri biwi mein hai, usse bulau?
Sardarji aapko chain nahin hai kya
A Sardarji went to toilet ten times within half-an-hour.
Somebody asked,“Sardarji aapko chain nahin hai kya?”
Sardar : Hai to sahi, par khul nahin rahi!
Somebody asked,“Sardarji aapko chain nahin hai kya?”
Sardar : Hai to sahi, par khul nahin rahi!
aja moray balma tera intezar hai
Girl of 1960 : Aye bahar hai…jia bekarar hai… aja moray balma tera intezar hai.
Girl of 2007 : Aye bahar hai…jia bekarar hai… aje moray balma warna dusra tayyar hai
Girl of 2007 : Aye bahar hai…jia bekarar hai… aje moray balma warna dusra tayyar hai
car ki speed
Sardar : O banno car ki speed itni kyon badha di?
Banno : Oji car ki break fail ho gayi hai, accident ho jaye iske pehle ghar pahunch jaate hain….
Banno : Oji car ki break fail ho gayi hai, accident ho jaye iske pehle ghar pahunch jaate hain….
Santa Singh
Seeing Santa Singh depressed one of his friends asks him.
“Oye why are you sad?”
To which Santa replies …“I lost Rs 300 in bet.”
His friend ask hims…“How?”
Santa Singh says..“I bet on India for Rs 200…”But unfortunately India lost
His friend queries..“But you said Rs 300…”
Santa Singh answers…“I again bet for India for Rs 100 in the highlights of the match
“Oye why are you sad?”
To which Santa replies …“I lost Rs 300 in bet.”
His friend ask hims…“How?”
Santa Singh says..“I bet on India for Rs 200…”But unfortunately India lost
His friend queries..“But you said Rs 300…”
Santa Singh answers…“I again bet for India for Rs 100 in the highlights of the match
A man and his wife
A man and his wife were seeking a divorce at a local court. But the custody of their child posed a problem.
The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the child into this world, she should retain custody.
The man also wanted custody of his child. The judge asked for his side of the story too.
After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and argued, ‘Your Honour, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?’
Hai koi jawaab???
The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the child into this world, she should retain custody.
The man also wanted custody of his child. The judge asked for his side of the story too.
After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and argued, ‘Your Honour, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?’
Hai koi jawaab???
Ek aadmi doosrey aadmi sey
Ek aadmi doosrey aadmi sey bola:
“Bivi aur ghadi mey kya faraq hey?”
Doosra Aadmi bola:
“Ek bigarti hai to bandh ho jati hai……Doosari bigarti hai to “SHUROO” ho jati hai”
“Bivi aur ghadi mey kya faraq hey?”
Doosra Aadmi bola:
“Ek bigarti hai to bandh ho jati hai……Doosari bigarti hai to “SHUROO” ho jati hai”
Phone ki ganti baji
Phone ki ganti baji.
Santa : Phone mere liye ho toh kehna mein ghar pe nahi hoon.
Jasmeet : Wo ghar pe hain.
Santa : Maine mana kiya tha ke…
Jasmeet : Phone mere liye tha
Santa : Phone mere liye ho toh kehna mein ghar pe nahi hoon.
Jasmeet : Wo ghar pe hain.
Santa : Maine mana kiya tha ke…
Jasmeet : Phone mere liye tha
Sardar talking on cell
Sardar talking on cell.
2nd Sardar : Kis se baat kar raho ho.
1st Sardar : Biwi se…
2nd Sardar : Itne… Pyaar se?
1st Sardar : Tumhari hai…
2nd Sardar : Kis se baat kar raho ho.
1st Sardar : Biwi se…
2nd Sardar : Itne… Pyaar se?
1st Sardar : Tumhari hai…
बहानेबाज कर्मचारी
एक बहानेबाज कर्मचारी का दादा उस के दफ़तर में जा कर उस के बाँस से बोला, " इस दफ़तर मे सुनिल नाम का व्यक्ति कार्य करता है, मुझे उस से मिलना है, वह मेरा पोता है।"
बाँस ने मुस्करा कर कहा, " मुझे अफ़सोस है, आप देर से आए है, वह आप के आर्थी को कंधा देने के लिए छुट्टी लेकर जा चुका है।"
बाँस ने मुस्करा कर कहा, " मुझे अफ़सोस है, आप देर से आए है, वह आप के आर्थी को कंधा देने के लिए छुट्टी लेकर जा चुका है।"
Thursday, January 7, 2010
SEX IS ...
SEX IS ...
Sex is a sensation caused by temptation when a man puts his location in a woman's destination. Do u get my explanation, or do u need a demonstration?!
Sex is a sensation caused by temptation when a man puts his location in a woman's destination. Do u get my explanation, or do u need a demonstration?!
man and woman
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.
cat
This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!
message
BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you'll never have multiple orgasm again!
one foolish
20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand