Ammi bhoot

Neend jab bhi hamain agosh main leti hay
Thumara chehra ankhon main bas jata hay
Eik dum ankh khul jati hay aur monh se Ammi bhoot nikal jata hay

Aaina dekh kar begana ho gaya

Aaina dekh kar begana ho gaya,
Wo apney he husn ka dewana ho gya
Muqabala husn main hisa lia ap ne bhi
Auron ko to cup mila mager ap ko jurmana ho gya

Torch Theek hai

Torch Theek hai
After finishing MBBS, Dr. Munna start his practice. He checked 1st patient eyes, tongue & ears by torch & finallly said Bole To.. Torch Theek hai

God ne tujhe bheja to bheja

God ne tujhe bheja to bheja
God ne tujhe bheja to bheja, lekin behja to aisa bheja ki behje main bheja hi nahi bheja, Ye mujhe kise ne bheja, isliye maine tujhe bheja

Jab barish hoti hai

Jab barish hoti hai, Tum yaad aate ho. Jab kali ghata chaye, Tum yaad ate ho,Jab bheegte hain tum yaad aate ho, Bataoo Meri umbrella Kab wapis kro ge!

Khidki se deakho to raste pe koi nahi tha

Khidki se deakho to raste pe koi nahi tha
Khidki se deakho to raste pe koi nahi tha, Khidki se dekha to raste pe koi nahi tha, Raste pe ja ke dekha to khidki pe koinahi tha.

Doctor says to pathan

Doctor says to pathan: Appka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai? Pathan: Hoga zaror hoga; 25 saal se amara koon peeta aay..!

HAMARI DOSTI

HAMARI DOSTI RAYMOND JAISI NAHIN... SINCE 1925 ,
PEPSI JAISI BHI NAHIN , KE YE DIL MAANGE MORE...
YE HOGI L.I.C. JAISI ,
JINDAGI KE SAATH BHI , JINDAGI KE BAAD BHI...

Meri bhagwaan se ek he prarthana hai.

Meri bhagwaan se ek he prarthana hai..
!ki wo aap jaisa dost har kisi ko de..
!aakhir ye saza main akele kyu bhugtu

jab dekha unhone tirchi nighaho se

jab dekha unhone tirchi nighaho se
jab dekha unhone tirchi nighaho se tab ham madhosh ho gayee,,,,, par jab pata chala ki nazre hi tedi hai to ham behosh ho gaye.

Is kadar hum aapko chahte hain,K

Is kadar hum aapko chahte hain,K
Is kadar hum aapko chahte hain,Ki duniya wale jal jaate hain...Yu to hum sabko ullu banate hain,Par aap jara jaldi ban jaate hain..

Jitne channel TV ke, utne nakhre...

Jitne channel TV ke, utne nakhre
Jitne channel TV ke, utne nakhre BV ke, TV chale remote se, BV chale note se, cheda agar TV ko tv hua kharab, jo cheda BV ko, Beghar hue JANAAB.

lagta hai k insaan kabhi bandar thaa

Jab aap hanstay hain to lagta hai k insaan kabhi bandar thaa
Jab aap hanstay hain to lagta hai k insaan kabhi bandar thaa! Aray aap to naaraaz hee ho gaey... jab aap naraz hotay hain to lagta hai k insaan aaj bhee bandar hai.! ha ha ha!

Repeater Rekh do

Repeater Rekh do
Woman: Sir , mein apne ladke ka naam kya rakhoon?
Ajit: Iskaa naam Peter rakh do!
Woman: Mera doosra ladkaa bhi hai , jo iskaa twin hai. Mein uskaa naam kya rakhoon?
Ajit: Uskaa naam Repeter rakh do!

Roz subah 50 Ladkiya mera intezaar karti hai.

Santa : - Roz subah 50 Ladkiya mera intezaar karti hai.
Banta : - are waah, woh kaise ?
Santa : - Mai Girls College Bus ka Driver hoon….

Ants will finish you

Ants will finish you

a girl’s speaking 2 a boy……..
u r very handsome.
u r very cute.
u r very sweet.
ooph…….sorry.
i can’t call u sweet….
because ants will finish u.

At ur age hitler commited suicide

At ur age hitler commited suicide

Teacher : U failure
At ur age Bill gates stood first in the class
Student : Mind u, Sir,
but at ur age hitler commited suicide

Aik Pagal dusry se

Aik Pagal dusry se

Aik Pagal: “Mujhe Katrina ne shadi k lye haan bol di hai”

Doosra: “Dikha di na usne apni auqat.
Main bhi itni asani se tallaaq nahi dunga

What's the difference between wife n neighbours wife?

What's the difference between wife n neighbours wife?
Wife is a chocolate, can have any time.
Neighbour's wife is like an ice-cream,
shud hv immediately

iss bar meri dadi ki shaadi hai

Maalik: Ramu, iss saal tum 4 bar apne dada
ke marne ki chutti le chuke ho.
Ramu: Maalik, iss bar meri dadi ki shaadi hai

aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?

Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye

A baby fish asked her mother

A baby fish asked her mother: Y can't we live on earth?
Mother Fish: Earth is not the place for FISH,
it's made for selfish

NDIA Ko Aazaad Hue 57 Sal Hue

NDIA Ko Aazaad Hue 57 Sal Hue
Phir Bhi No PROGRESS!
why? Kyunki Aaj Bhi INDIA Ki
Bholi Janta KAAM-DHANDHA Chhod Kar
hamara SMS padh rahi hai...

Ladki ek aisi paheli hai

Ladki ek aisi paheli hai, kabhi teri to kabhi meri saheli hai.
Kharcha karo to bole "darling, how are you?".
Na karo to bole "brother, who are you?".

bahar aa kar acha lag raha hai?

Media: Prince, bahar aa kar acha lag raha hai?
Prince: Kya acha lagega? Andar choclate thi,
pastry thi, milk badam tha.
Thodi der aur ruk jaate shayad Bipasha bhi aa jati.

Phoolon mein gulab achha lagta hai

Phoolon mein gulab achha lagta hai,
har chehre par shabab achha lagta hai,
aap hamesha naak se chuhe nikalte rahen,
hamein aapka yahi andaaz achha lagta hai

Kabhi hausla bhi azma lena chahiye

Kabhi hausla bhi azma lena chahiye,
Bure waqt me muskura lena chahiye,
Agar 7ve din bhi khujli na mite to
8ve din naha lena chahiye..!!!

A new way to send Romantic kiss to your girlfriend.

Good news! A new way to send Romantic
kiss to your girlfriend.
Just call me and order your kiss.
I will personally go and deliver it

Can v do romance in the evening today?

Can v do romance in the evening today?
I'm in a good mood
Just a little bit of kissing and biting
reply me soon!
urs lovingly
"MOSQUITO"

Dream makes everything possible

Dream makes everything possible,
Hope makes everything work,
Luv makes everything beautiful,
Smile makes all the above...
So always Brush ur Teeth

what do you want for your birthday?

Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it

A Love Letter from BISCUIT MAKER

A Love Letter from BISCUIT MAKER-
Dear Marie, Today is Good Day,
U r Anmol for me...
But U have Crackjacked my Heart,
Bcoz I have a Little Heart,
Now I m in 50/50 position..

Jise koyal samjhe, woh kauwa nikla

Jise koyal samjhe, woh kauwa nikla.
Dosti ke naam par hauwa nikla.
Jo roka karte they humein sharab peene se,
aaj unki jeb se pauwa nikla.

Unhe khilane pilaane main

Unhe khilane pilaane main hui hai yeh haalat,
Kasm khuda ki..Cinema bhi udhaar dekha hai…
Industrian sari mere yaar khaa gaye,
Meri Sari jaydaaad rishtedar khaa gaye,

Marne Ke baad bhi unho ne ki meri saath cheating,
Banaye mazar to minaar kha gaye…….

Girlfriend ko I love u bolna hai or recharge khatam

Girlfriend ko I love u bolna hai or recharge khatam.
Ab kya kare? Mein batata hoon kya karein.
Theke pe jao, quarter lo,
4 peg maro or g/f k ghar k bahar
khade ho k jor se chilaao I Luv U.
Kabootar mehenga pad jaayega.
Rum ka Paua ab sirf 10 RS mein.

Dosti karo college wali se

Dosti karo college wali se,
pyar karo office wali se,
batein karo pados wali se,
ankh ladao sali se,
love karo dilvali se,
AUR MAR KHAO GHARVALI SE.

What is the height of telling a lie

What is the height of telling a lie?
A negro telling his girlfriend,
"tenu kaala chasma jachda hai,
jachda hai gore mukhde te

Ik sherni nach rahi si

Ik sherni nach rahi si,
usnu dekhke thodi door ik chuha vi nach reha si.
Sherni ne puchia ki ho gaya?
Chuha kehnda, "Nachne nu kare mera jee,
haye ni tenu nachdi vekh ke

Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen

Mom: Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen.
Girl: Ladka to theek hai but mota hai.
Mom: TV chahe 14" ka ho ya 29" ka
remote 6" ka hi hota hai

gadbad

Paani mein whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.
Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai

What did the gangster's son tell his dad

What did the gangster's son tell his dad
when he failed his examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours
but I never told them anything."

sentimental love cards

Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved'
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them

Great Calculation

Great Calculation: Only 20% boys have brains.
Rest have Girlfriends

If I was an artist

If I was an artist,
you would be my picture!
If I was a poet,
you would be my inspiration!
If I was an author you would be my story!
But I'm only a cartoonist!

what is the most important source of finance for starting business

Commerce professor asks the student: what is the most
important source of finance for starting business?
Student: "Father in law

Agar apna character sudharna hai to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo

Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai to
sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo.
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega,
par mere baap ka bigad jayega

machhar says "MAA

Lady drinking coke, machhar falls in.
Lady takes it out, machhar says "MAA"!
Lady asks why did you call me "MAA"?
machhar says, "Main teri coke se nikla hoon, MAA!"

Every Indian women is RANI KAXMI BAI in her life

Every Indian women is RANI KAXMI BAI in her life.
RANI - Before marriage.
LAXMI - After marriage.
BAI - After children.

What do you call a female who never laughs?

What do you call a female who never laughs?
"HASINA

tuhadi umar kinni hai?

Chuha to haathi: tuhadi umar kinni hai?
Haathi: 1 Saal, te teri?
Chuha: Umar ta meri v 1 saal hi hai,
par saale nashe patte ne mittran di sehat down jehi karti.

Several women appeared in court

Several women appeared in court,
each accusing the other of the trouble
in the flat where they lived.
The judge called for orderly testimony.
"I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed.
The case was closed for lack of evidence

I am sending u a cup of tea

I am sending u a cup of tea
which is made by sugar of love.
milk of happiness.tea of joy n
there is no water of sorrow.
i hope this tea will refresh u
if u tired now

An apple a day keeps the doctor away

An apple a day keeps the doctor away,
but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Write a note on Gandhi Jayanti.

LECTURER: Write a note on Gandhi Jayanti.

CIRCUIT WRITES: Gandhi was a great man,
but maa kasam i dont know who is Jayanti.
Koi locha-lafda hoga buddhe ka

Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa

Munna: Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa,
meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.

Circuit: Aey Bhai ! aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna: Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada hai na.

bole to bachpan mein

Circuit, “Bhai… bole to bachpan mein apun 20th Floor se gir gaya tha.”
Munna Bhai, “Aisa kya? To fir bach gaya tha ya mar gaya tha?

Circuit, “Abhi jaane do na bhai itni purani baat…
Bole to ab apun ko jyada yaad nahin!!”

Bolay to Apun ko tera operation dobara karna paray ga

Munna: Bolay to Apun ko tera operation dobara karna paray ga.
Kyun k apun kay rubber k gloves teray andar hi reh gaye hain.

Patient: Agar yeh baat hai to mujhay jaanay do.
Mien tumharay gloves ki payment kar doon ga.

Maine aaj paani ko bevkuf banaya

Sardar 2 Sardarne: Maine aaj paani ko bevkuf banaya. Sardarne: woh kaise? Sardar: Maine paani Garam kiya but thande se naha liye ha ha ha.

Kaun sa station hai?

Train station par ruki. Ek aadmi khidki ke paas baethe sardar se- Kaun sa station hai? Sardar bahar dekh kr kuch der soch kar "lag to Railway Station raha hai".

Ek sardar exam dene gaya

Ek sardar exam dene gaya to apnay saath palumber ko saath le kar gaya.
guess karo kyun le kar gaya?
aray yaar simple hai us ko yeh news mili thi k paper leage ho gaya. ha ha ha

A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl,he Went and Kissed her

A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl,he Went and Kissed her.
Girl: "STUPID what r u doing?"
Sardar: B.Com final year"

Marriage Certificate ku 1 hour sae Dekh raha tha

Aik Sardar Apnae Marriage Certificate ku 1 hour sae Dekh raha tha.
Begam Ai Booli, Tusi inni Dair Say Kia Dekh Rahe Hu?
Sardar Bola, Expiry Date Dekh raha hoon..

Sardar on phone "Doctor my wife is pergnant

Sardar on phone "Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now".
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking...

Sardarji went to party and introduced his family

Sardarji went to party and introduced his family to his friends. I am Sardar and this is sardarney, this is my kid and this is my kidney

Beta ye kaisi machis lay kar aaye ho

SARDAR:: Beta ye kaisi machis lay kar aaye ho ek bhi nahi jal rahi
SON :: kya baat kartay ho pappa sub check kar kay laya hoooon

Tum to bas apne kaam me lage rehte ho..

Premika-Tum to bas apne kaam me lage rehte ho..Meri to koi prwah hi nhi he tumhe!Srdar Premi-Oye, Pyar krne wale kisi ki prwah Nahi karte

Once a sardar was looking at a WANTED poster

Once a sardar was looking at a WANTED poster & was
wondering -
Saala wanted tha to photo kheenchne ke baad use jaane
kyon diya ?

Sardar apni GirlFriend ko i love u kehta aur gir jata...

Sardar apni GirlFriend ko i love u kehta aur gir jata.I love u kehta aur fir gir jata. Girl: ye Kya kar rahe ho Sardar: i m falling in love.

A SARDAR IS SING A PATRIOTIC SONG

A SARDAR IS SING A PATRIOTIC SONG-""EY MERE VATAN KE LOGON
JARA AAINKH MEIN BHAR LO PANI,
JO SHAHEED HUYE HAIN UNKEE,
TUSSI GHAR LE AAO "JANANI"

2 sardars go for a drive. .

2sardars go for a drive. . . . OYE zara khidki ke bahar dekhi indicators working or not. . . sardar puts his head out & says yes..No..Yes..No..Yes..No.

I read read the whole book, too many character, no story at all

Sardar returns book to library, bangs it on table &
says - What a shit ?
"I read the whole book, too many character, no story
at all" ?.
Librarian : So, you are the one who took the Telephone
Directory...

Sardar Get Engaged with girl

Sardar Get Engaged with girl,
soon he came 2 know she had no affair b4,
he brokn the relation every 1 asked the reason!He said
"JO KISI OR KI NA HO SAKI WOH MERI KIA HOGI"

A sardar married to a short girl

A sardar married to a short girl.people asked to sardar why you married such a short girl. He replied our guru gee says maseebat jitni choti ho utna he acha hota hay.

One day Sardar happened to see a marathon race.

One day Sardar happened to see a marathon race.
"What the guys are doing" asked the sardar.
" We are running a marathon. The winner will get prize" replied one
runner.
"Only the winner will get prize! Then why others are participating!!"
Exclaimed the Sardar

A sardarji photographer

A sardarji photographer is focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function,
suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him. why? He said "SMILE PLEASE"

Will u marry , after i die

Sardar: Will u merry , after i die.
Wife : No i wiil live with my sister.
Wife : Will u marry , after i die.
Sardar: No i will also live with ur sister

Sardar apni BIBI k sath TAXI me

Sardar apni BIBI k sath TAXI me baitha.Driver ne aaina set kiya. Ye dekhte hi SARDAR gusse me bolaMeri BIBI ko DEKHTA hai, piche BAITH. Taxi me CHALAUNGA

sardar in mushkil

Sardar. to his friend:yaar bari mushkil main hoon mairi Bivi mujh say aik kiss ka RS.100 laiti hay
friend.Acha,yaar to baara lucky hay dosron sey woh 500aiti hai

Sardar Apni Wife Ke Sath

Sardar Apni Wife Ke Sath Coffee Shop Gaya, hot Coffee order Ki, Coffee Atte Hi wife Se Bola Jaldi Jaldi pee. Wife Boli Kyu? Sardar Bola Hot coffe Rs. 5 and Cold Coffee Rs. 10.00

in an interview

in an interview,
interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
SARDAR: dhuurrrrrrrrrr..
Interviewr shouts: stop it !
SARDAR: dhurr dhup dup dup dup.

Sardar car ki battery change karwane gaya

Sardar car ki battery change karwane gaya ...
Mechanic - Sahab, Exide ki daal doon ?
Sardar - Nahin yaar, dono side ki daal de, warna phir
problem hogi.

A sardar on an interview

A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was
asked a question
Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ?
Sardar - Thanks for giving me the job, I will
investigate

Sardarji, tell me

Sardarji, tell me ...., what is the meaning of SMS ?
Sardar angrily said, i know -
it means....
S - Sardaron ke
M - Mazak udane ki
S - Service

A sardarji Doctor falls in Love

A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister....

Darling main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta

Sardar to Girlfriend= Darling main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karrahe hai. Girlfriend= Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai. Sardar= 1 biwi aur 3 bacche

Sardar orders pizza

Sardar orders pizza.
Waiter: Sir shud i cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?
Sardar: 4 hi karde 8 khaye nahi jayenge

what is your birth date

Interviewer: what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR

I read the whole book, too many character, no story at all

Sardar returns book to library, bangs it on table &
says - What a shit ?
"I read the whole book, too many character, no story
at all" ?.
Librarian : So, you are the one who took the Telephone
Directory...

After returning back from a foreign trip

After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?

Any great man born in this village

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

Prito "Ek wari I LOVE YOU keh day

Sardar: Prito "Ek wari I LOVE YOU keh day"
Prito: "Nahi Sharam Andi Ey"
Sardar: "Keh Day NA"
Prito: "Nahi Na"
Sardar: "Dhake To Fir Meri Bahen Nahi

Ek sradar sochta raha...sochta raha... sochta raha...

Ek sradar sochta raha...sochta raha... sochta raha... saari zindagi sochta raha aur sochtay sochtay hi mar gaya k meri behan k 3 bhai hain tau mere 2 kyoun????

Ek sardar shadi se phley

Ek sardar shadi se phley apni bewi ko gana sunata hai mera mehbob mary sanam or sahdi key bad mai kery pasey jawona mai manji kethy dawna

WHY WAS SARDAR JEE ARRESTED IN A POLITICAL RALLY

WHY WAS SARDAR JEE ARRESTED IN A POLITICAL RALLY. BECOZ HE SAW A GIRL GOING AROUND WITH A BADGE ON HER CHEST WHICH SAID"PRESS" AND SARDAR JEE PRESSED IT

Do sardar ja rahah hote hain

Do sardar ja rahah hote hain,k samne se eik pregnant auorat aa rahih hoti hai,sardar dousre sardar se khata hain kiyaa is ko bhi laal chuti ne kaata hain

Aj 3 dako aaye see.

SARDARNI SAY:- aji sunday o..Aj 3 dako aaye see.. unhaan nay mere izat lut laee jay.
SARDAR SAY:- toon onhaan noo rokya naeen....?
SARDARNI REPLIES:- bohot rokya see... per o rukay e naeen.... kehen lagay HUN SANO JAAN DAY...ASSI THAK GAEE AAN

Sardar ji Aapko logo ne kyun mara

Sardar ji Aapko logo ne kyun mara? Sardar " yaar Meri Photo Bas main Gir Gayi To Maine Madam Se Kaha Zara Sadi Upar Karo Photo Lena Hai"

A sardar bunked his office and went home

A sardar bunked his office and went home and found his wife on bed with his boss.he run back and told his
coleagues :YAAR AJ TU MIEN BASS PAKAR GIA TA

Sardar ji; Bhagwan se

Sardar ji;
Bhagwan mujhe dard de,Dukh de,tention de,mujhe barbad kar de,mere piche BHoot laga de,
Bhagwan;abe sale ek line me bol ke biwi chahiye

Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home

Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.
Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints like
"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."

Sardarji calls Air India

Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the receptionist. "Thank you." says the Sardar and
hangs up

aap naach rahe ho?

There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the
sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general
'balle balle' is on. The people on the street find it strange that instead
of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its marriage baraat. So one of
them asks Santa Singh, ;Singh Saab, aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur
aap naach rahe ho?; .....comes the reply, ;Haan ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi
ki!!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar brain tumour se mara hai!!!

This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park

This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start
approaching, he was hiding under his seat when his friend asks him ;kyon
sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai.; Sardarji
replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin voh to
janwar hai, usko kya pata

A Sardar went 2 hotel

A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chiken, Waiter comes with the order, Surdar:Murgi di taang kithe hai? Waiter:Woh langra tha. Surdar: Dil? Waiter:Dil murgi le gayee. Surdar: Dimaag? Waiter: Murga SARDAR tha

2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy

2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.Sardar1:Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case. Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760!!

Ek Sardar ne ek bachy se pucha

Ek Sardar ne ek bachy se pucha k tum ko A,B,C Aaty hai to bachy ne keha k mujy 9 tak aty hia..
Sardar ne bachy se keha k oyee Ullu k pathy 9 A,b,c main nahe aata. yeh to Alif,, Be,,Main ata ha

likhan wala stupid

A sardar saw a board on which it was written " padhne wala stupid".
Sardar got irritated and wrote "likhan wala stupid"

What is Common between : Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji , Jesus..

What is Common between : Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays

Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?

Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed

How do you make a Sardar laugh

How do you make a Sardar laugh on "Saturday"?
Tell him "a joke Tuesday"

In aptitude test

In aptitude test
River Kaveri is in which state?
Sardar: liquid state.

butterfly

Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly

Akal badhi ya bhains

Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao.

What's Oxford

What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi

Tell me a word

Banta:Tell me a word consist of 100 letters.
Santa: P-O-S-T-B-O-X

Why dogs don't marry

Santa: Q - Why dogs don't marry?
Banta: A - Because they are already leading a dog's life

santa banta

Santa: "Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon".
Banta: "Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!"

santa banta

Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman

an apple

A four-year-old boy was eating an apple in the back seat of the car, when he asked, "Daddy, why is my apple turning brown?"

"Because," his dad explained, "after you ate the skin off, the meat of the apple came into contact with the air, which caused it to oxidise, thus changing the molecular structure and turning it into a different color."

There was a long silence. Then the son asked softly, "Daddy, are you talking to me?

llittle mind

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted criminals.

One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.

"Yes," said the policeman.

"The detectives want very badly to capture him."

Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

A lady

A lady arrived at the Madras airport after spending 36 hours in transit. She was fully exhausted after such a long trip with her 6 young kids.

Collecting many suitcases, the family entered the cramped customs area.

A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, "Ma'am," he said, "do all these children and this luggage belong to you?"

"Yes, sir," the lady said with a sigh. "They're all mine."

The customs agent began his interrogation "Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?"

"Sir," she calmly answered, "if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now."

Because...

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, “and why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

Little Johnny replied, “Because we must not disturb people while sleeping.”

maa aur beti

Mom: Beti badi ho kar kya karogi?
Beti: Kuch nahin... Maan banungi, padhungi, shaadi karungi... aur kya?
Mom: Jo karna hai karo par zara serial order mein karna

2 Sardar

There were 2 Sardar Jees going for fishing. One of the Sardar Jee notices a boy drowning. He looks up to the sky and says “Hey Raba please protect the small boy“

The other Sardar Jee bravely gets up and dives into the water to rescue the boy.

Fishing

When the Sardar Jee gets near to the boy he notices lot of people has surrounded him.

The Sardar Jee asks nervesuoly “Oh Gee Hoya?“

The man, who was a producer replies “Tu meri shooting kurab gurthee“

Ka karat ho

Rabri : Ka karat ho?
Laalu : Ek dost ko chitthi likhat hu!

Man writing letter

Rabri : Par tuhar likhna to aawe nahi.
Laalu : Vo sasura bhi to padhna nahi jaanat

Ek pathan

Ek pathan Cycle chalate aur gungunate howe kahin ja raha tha rastae mein ek aurat se takra betha.

Aurat chilla kar boli, “Break nahi maar sakte they kya ???”

cycle

Pathan herat se… “Pora cycle mar deya abhi break mar kar kia faida.”

Krishan ka janam

Train mein TT Sadhu se bola : Kahan jana hai?
Sadhu : Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha.
TT : Ticket hai?

Train

Sadhu : Nahin
TT : Chalo
Sadhu : Kahan?
TT : Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein

Dinner

Shaadi mein ek pathan bahut der tak khana kha raha tha.

Kisi ne poocha kab tak khaoge?

partywedding.jpg

Pathan: Mein toh khud kha-kha ke dukhi hoon, Per kya karon card mein likha tha Dinner 7 PM to 10 PM.

Kya aakhein hain, kya zulfein hain..

Oooofff ! Kya aakhein hain,..
Ooooff kya aakhein hain, (wah !! Wah !!)
Oooff kya aakhein hain, kya zulfein hain..
(Zara Gaur Farmayiyega. ..)
Ooooff! Kya aakhein hain, kya zulfein hain..
Masha-allah kya soorat paayi hai.
Aisa lagta hai….
Aisa lagta hai jaise…….

PEEPAL KE PED SE BHOOTNI UTER AAYI HAI..

Bhehar ki gali main paan ki dukan

Bhehar ki gali main paan ki dukan
Devdas ne dekhi Paro Ki muskan,
Devdas ne khilaya paro ko paan,
Khake paan Paro bolo”Shukriya Bhai Jan

sardar aur makhi

Sardar ne makhi k par tor k kaha,Urr ja.
But..
makhi nahin uri, Sardar ne kah1a,
Sabit hua agar makhi k par tor diyejain to makhi sun nahin sakti

connection’time out

Dil se ek ishq ki Ek application kar raha hoon.
Pyaar se ‘debug’ karna mein wait kar raha hoon.
Tumhaare intezaar mein neend aayee so gaya.
Yeh dekho mera connection’time out’ ho gaya

bachcho kA lAlan-pAlan kaise kare?”

das sAl kA ek bachA baDI talInatA ke sAth
ek pustak paDh rahA tha, jiska shirShak thA,
bachcho kA lAlan-pAlan kaise kare?”
bachche kI mAA ne dekhA to hairAnI se pUChHa-
“tU ye kitAb kyo paDh rahA hai?”
bachchA- “mai jananA chAhatA huN ki merA
lAlan-pAlan Thik se ho rahA hai yA nahI.”

ek Alochak

ek Alochak ne ek lekhak ke upanyAs kI bahut
AlochanA kI.lekhak gusse me Alochak ke pAsS
pahUNchA aur bolA- “AApane AAj tak to koI
upanyAs likhA nahI hai, tum AlochanA kaise
likh sakate ho.”
Alochak- “agar mai murgI kI tarah aNDA nahI
de saktA to kyA huA, AmaleT ke bAre me murgI
se jyAdA jAnatA hu.

Khush Ho Tum

Khush Ho Tum Tu Khushi Meri Ho
Ro Tum Tu Ankhen Num Meri Hon
Ae Dost Hamari Dosti Itni Gehri Ho K
Sarak K Us Paar Tum Pito Aur Ghalti Meri Ho

das paise kA savAl hai

bhikhArI- “das paise kA savAl hai, bAbujI das paise kA …. .”
bAbujI- “are CUM-se-CUM merI aukAt dekhakar mANg,
kyA das paise mANg rahA hai.”
bhikhArI- “bAbujI ek rupaye kA savAl hai.”
bAbujI- “abe… apanI aukAt dekhakar mANg.”

Dil k dard ko

Dil k dard ko zuba par laate nahi,
hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi,
Zakhm chahe kitne hi gahre kyo na ho,
hum DETTOL k siva kuch laagate nahi.

Monthly paas

PRINCIPAL :Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI :Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu?

Kaash Tere Chehre Pe

Kaash Tere Chehre Pe
Chickenpox Ke Daag Hote
Chand To Tum Ho Hi
Sitare Bhi Saath Hote

Filmi love letter

When I am: KareebThere is only: Khamoshi

I want to speak: Dil Se

That’s my kind of: Ishq

I want this to be: Gupt

As I always have: Darr

That I will loose you: Sajani

And that would be great: Sadma

I am your: Mr.Aashique

But sometimes bit: Deewana

Tell me: Hum Aapke Hain Kaun

As I feel : Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

In this : Duniya Dilwalon Ki

I told you: Maine Pyar Kiya

May be : Dil To Pagal Hai

Because: Jab Pyar Kisise Hota Hai

The whole world appears as: Dushman

But anyway: Pyar To Hona Hi Tha..

Khirki khuli zulfein bikhri

Khirki khuli zulfein bikhri
Dilne kaha dildar nikla
Par haire meri footi kismat
Nahaya hua sardar nikla..

cake

Bolaa dukaan-daar, ke kyaa chahiye tumhain
Jo bhii kaho gai merii dukaan per wo paogai
maine kahaa ke kutte ke khaane kaa cake hai
bolaa yahiin pe khaaoge yaa leke jaaoga

Bhoot bankar darayenge tumhee…

Girl : (Emotionaly)
Darte hain agg say kahin jal na jayen..
darte hain Khwab say Kahin Toot Na jayen..
Lakin Sub Say Ziada Darty hain Es baat say…
Kay App Hamain KAhin Bhool Na jaye..
Boy :
Yeh mat sochna ki hum bhool jayenge tuemhe…
Door rehkar bhi hamesha chahenge tumhe…
Agar Dost bankar raas na aaye to…..
Bhoot bankar darayenge tumhee…

Razai Na Milay

Khuda Karay K Tum Ko Judai Na Milay
Kabhi Bhi Tanhai Na Milay
Mujhay Sms Na Karo To Kuch Aisa Ho
K Mosam Ho Sardi Ka Or Tum Ko Razai Na Milay

Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye

Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aur humare dil se awaaz nikalii….
Fiteh Mooh…Tusin Ethe vii aa gaye !!